Last entry

Well, this is my final blog, I am just over the black sea as we speak, im trying to stay awake so I can sleep o. The second leg is almost 9 hrs long, we stop in Germany for about 90 minutes.  I never thought I'd get to this point, it seemed like such an unobtainable goal.  Now I'm back to my old life, I don't mean that negatively, it's just weird being this military guy in a military world for almost five months, now it's back to reality.  Thanks for reading my blog, it has definitely helped passing the time, remind me that it wasn't all bad or all good, and maybe it helped to show people some things about what we do that maybe you didn't know about.  Here is a summary of the good, bad and ugly of this Sather tour.

Good:  I learned a ton, how to run a terminal in thE AOR, much different then our little terminal back at March.  I feel I could go in and run any terminal with little spinup. We had a lot go on with state department, embassy, united nations, and the army and navy and it was cool to see all these agencies in action. Working on the flight line could be cool, seeing all the different planes and helos in action, sometimes I imagined I was in a war movie and there was dramatic music playing in the background, like in the dark knight, I know it's goofy, but I had to do something to make it exciting.  I had to deal with different personalities and get them to work towards a common cause, this could be much more difficult then you could imagine.

I learned a lot about the mission in Iraq, how we do it, the obstacles, the positive moments.

I got in the best shape in 13 yes, this is the longest I haven't drank caffeine since I was a kid, I ate healthier then i have in many years, hardly any fried, more fruits, and vegetables, I got my blood pressure down 16points and lost 16lbs.

I have a greater appreciation for our troops, the real guys fighting the fire fights, focused now more in Afghanistan.  Some are so isolated, they have to get shoppette supplies from mobile shopettes.  They are busting their asses, getting hurt, traumatized, and isolated, and some come from the poorest parts of America. They are the real heroes, we're just guys doing a job, nothing more and I feel uncomfortable when people go overboard in praise for what I'm doing.

Same line as above, but I'm also really proud of all the security forces at Sather, they had a tough job keeping our base safe.  Though they didn't work twelves like we did they did the security shifts, boring beyond belief, and equally tense at moments.  We all feel incredibly fortunate to have gotten through this unscathed.  At the dfac, they always have a section reserved for only them, I use to think it was very arrogant of them but now I realize they deserve it and a lot more.  

I finished all of my adls requirements, one of only a very few people in pax to accomplish everything, yes everything!

I Finished my SEI 45 course for teaching

I feel my relationship with the lord has grown quite a bit, I've read more of the bible then I ever have, I have learned of just how awesome our god is, that we are all unworthy of eternal life, yet by faith in him, he gives us this gift.  As a Christian, it really is important to read the entire bible from genesis to revelation, it brought me a lot of peace at times, and has allowed me to not have dark thoughts or say something g really mean about someone, most of the time that is, still far from perfect, but I want to keep growing spiritually every year.  It's much easier to do the wrong thing, but much more rewarding to stay the course, every choice you make, you have to ask, "would Jesus had done that?"

People were pretty friendly, strangers, but people would talk, keep the door open for you, I've seen this before with the military so it is no surprise.

The bad:

As friendly as people were, no one really got to know each other in depth, with a few exceptions.  That was unfortunate because in the navy, we got to know each other like brothers, but it was also a little tough with that because I was ncoic.  It did get lonely at the top but not to bad, like being the base commander or something.

The senior enlisted structure, the way it was set up, was flawed.  Way too many chiefs, no one really pull the trigger.  We should have had a head pax superintendent that worked 6 to 6pm.  Too many ridiculous arguments

Some people in the unit were not friendly in my opinion.  A few would just give me looks, like they didn't want to talk to me or just got through talking about me, maybe I misinterpreted their body language or them not acknowledging me with the fact they may have just been having a bad day.

I missed out on a lot with my daughter Jenna, moments I'll never have.  Not to be dramatic, but I missed out on a tenth of her life.

I never got a chance to finish teaching my kids the school year.  I did stay in touch and it was cool to have some students write to me

The whole LOA procedure was ridiculous, which goes back to the leadership thing, for them to make such a big deal about them being off one letter or number was embarrassing, them being off had no effect on the military getting reimbursed for fuel or security violations or anything.  It was done to display power but all it did was divide the military running the port from the civilian contractors.  It created a lot of stress for the contractors, who did not write up their own loas.  There was nothing in the foreign clearance guide or LOI's that stated people should be denied travel if numbers on the loa didn't match, yet we did it time and time again

The temporary holding bin was a joke, how we had to wait out there, it was a waste of time and also enforced to display power by the opposite shift.

The x ray procedure was flawed, the civilians and military passengers hated it, there had to be a better way of doing it, but leadership of course couldn't agree on anything

We lost Tsgt Nelson a month after I got here, his wife was having physical problems, we missed his leadership and expertise, and we worked together well, bouncing ideas off each other all the time.  He also helped me fight some battles with the day shift, but his absence  did force me to be more involved, which was a good thing.

Sometimes the only way to truly learn is by making mistakes, and night shift made a few of them, especially that week in April, but they were made with max effort and not from goofing off.  I messed up from lack of experience, I was the only Nco never to have served on prior deployment or active duty, yet senior leadership never allowed me to use that as justification for any mistake, but that's not surprising,the military is a big boy world, and know one wants to hear excuses, no matter how valid they may be.


The ugly:  

There were a few individuals that were obsessed with policy, no matter if certain parts were nonsensical in nature.  A few leaders specialized in half truths and jumping to conclusions without proper analysis.  Things that were not a big deal were made a big deal, and it created an atmosphere of competition and mistrust.  It made a fairly simple jobs more difficult, stressful, and complex.

People couldn't say stuff straight up, there was a lot of back talking and I saw it in other sections as well, it seemed like there was a two week period where every time I turned around an opposite shift senior nco is having a major discussion right at shift change, that got old fast

Hate to say it, but the entire stress level decreased five fold the second the deployers left may 4

I felt it was pretty ugly that Tsgt B was not made assistant ncoic of day shift when he clearly was at least equal ability with more  time in service then the person that was there.  It didn't make sense and there were a few people that agreed with me

Regarding the April week of mistake an opposite shift senior nco actually had the nerve to say, "people have been talking back at the unit.". That was probably the ugliest thing I'd seen.  Stuff like that makes me want to push the retirement button on virtual MPF, well see if anyone is talking when we return.


So there you have it, the good, bad, and ugly of the deployment, all in all it seemed like I was gone a whole year instead of four months, the number of hours we worked were ungodly but overall I was proud to say I did my part in operation New Dawn serving my country, and I am really glad it's over, yet I will think often of the fellow pax personnel   We left behind and pray for their safe return in October.  If I disappointed you with the content because it wasn't exciting enough or patriotic enough I apologize but I did promise to write what I saw and felt.  Wow 60 entries, I will never have a chance to write this much ever again unless it's for a school paper.  I keep dreaming of the look on Jenna's face when I come out of the tunnel.  So this is Pax 29, Pax 29, I am off the deck, going home to my wonderful family, and I am OUT!!

The Sather Chronicles

P.s. Stay tuned summer 2012 for another exciting chapter, hopefully with an annual tour going to japan or Hawaii, it could be my last ever

June 7

Well, the two days in AlUdeid came and went like that.  It was pretty much the same thing landing as when we were first here in January, hurry up and wait, briefings, but at least turning in stuff was much quicker.  The tent they had us in was great, only about 5 or 6 people.  The food is definitely better, splurged a little on things I didnt eat at all in Iraq like chili cheese fries and yes, I had my first pepsi in more then four month.  The flavor shot in my mouth, it was like drinking it as a kid again.  Day 1 I walked to the main mall thing, It is a big air conditioned structure.  I am amazed at the number of huge multi-million dollar structures in this main area, I was so use to the prefab buildings and tents in Iraq.  These structures are for the living quarters, gym, and mini mall.  Now in the states, this would not be a big deal but to have this in the middle of a small Arabian country, it just made me realize how much it costs to have a military.  We hear numbers like in the billions and it doesn't quite sink in, but to see all of this construction, well, I hope we are going to be staying here for the long haul.  Unlike Iraq, Qatar is a very safe country, within it's borders that is.  It is very tough to even get in this country if you are not Qatari, it's just a great feeling to be somewhere where people are not walking around with weapons.  I worked out, indulged in a tcby berry smoothee, very nice, read, worked out again, goofed on the computer and then went to bed.pretty much the same routine the next day with the exception of watching Battle LA at the base theatre, man that thing was huge!  And the AC! A lot of your planning while waiting at the Deid revolves around which area has the best AC.  It didn't get 120 like thought but it was close!  I saw the movie on the pc in march Haji style, it was goofy and grainy.  At least the movie was more bearable. Because the quality is so great.  It was cool, something to do, good action, but way over the top in all phases, however, had one of the greatest movie quotes of all time:  Bridget moyrahen:  "I think I can help....I'm a veterinarian.". STUPID
Earlier in the day, I was having feelings of anxiety about going back to my civilian work, it's kind of ridiculous that instead of thinking of hanging out with my family, I'm thinking about working another year at the 8th grade, all the possible scenarios, and I'm not "feeling it" in any way, shape, or form.  Like I've said in the past,it's not the teaching, it's the age group.  The lord told me, and I'm sure of this, to just look one last time before I leave, even for the rest of the year, so I look at higley and not only is their one but two history positions available, plus a football coaching position.  I was so amped, I quickly fill out the online app.  It has been quite a challenge to look for jobs over here but the lord has perfect timing, we'll see, still need to get the interview.  Still it made my mood much better, yet it annoys me that I have always been where I sometimes can't enjoy the moment I'm in, that I worry about the next challenge or potential obstacle.  
Workin out the last few days in the Deid, I am amazed at the fitness level of these deployed airmen.  They are much more ripped and fit then when I was in the navy.  I think it's a combination of factors, being on a deployment there is nothing else to do, the supplements today are very advanced, in our day I don't even think creatin was out.  These airmen use them a lot, and in different combinations.  And honestly the air force has completely revamped their fitness program.  When I joined in 2000, the fitness program was a joke, we use to do a two mile walk for crying out loud.  Even the women are running through the roof.  I could work out for days and could not keep up with some of these dudes.  I'm old, no doubt about it, in a young persons military.  But I'm for the most part keeping up which is a good thing.  I only got about 90 minutes of sleep, just couldn't get comfortable, the AC was too cold, too loud, the mattress was killing my hips, then this yahoo gets up at midnight, 2 and a half hours before I do, packing---making noise, I decide to use the bathroom.  He says, "I heard from my lieutenant that our flight has been moved up three hrs.".  I'm so annoyed, this guy wakes me up when we just looked at the flight info 5 hrs prior, right on time buddy!  I just went back to bed, we later find out the guy was wrong, now we are at the terminal, waiting for the show time to board our flight, it still hasn't hit yet I'm going home, part of me has this mindset that we are getting deployed to another location, kin of sick huh?

last night

I'm feeling pretty drowsy. The last two nights in the tents I have had terrible sleep,one thing with the CHU's, they stopped a lot of sound I took for granted. Two days ago it's the flippin Iraqi special forces having firing practice at 2am, lasted about 2 hrs, then last night it was the ghetto birds flying around the same time. Chief Wood of all people coined that term a few days ago, I did a double-take then busted up laughing, I guess you would have to know the oldschool Ice Cube Rap to understand. Overall it equates to about 4 hrs of sleep a night, I'm just struggling there, my Ambien has run out, adjusting to a normal sleep schedule is tougher then I thought. hopefully I can knock out tonight, I need to be on my A-game tomorrow with leaving, landing in AlUdeid, turning in all our IBA and chem gear then getting our billetting for a few nights.
Besides my normal routine of the past few days of working out twice a day, reading, computer-surfing, and watching my new re-imagined Twilight Zone dvd collection (pretty entertaining: 43 hrs of shows, pretty big name actors and actresses in cameo's, all for $15)I did laundry to get ready to leave. normally I do the service but I had to go to the laundry cadillac. That place is annoying to the extreme, the dryers don't work and people just take off for hrs on end where they jam up the machines, then you feel wierd having to handle their clothes. How do people deal with doing their laundry on a regular basis, why not use the laundry service? Why do I care, not my problem anymore
Had my last dinner here, decided to go Mexican. I'll have breakfast tomorrow but that will be it. I saw the command section sitting together but honestly I just wanted to eat alone so I acted like I didn't see them, i know, lame, but I just didn't feel like worrying if I was going to say something not approriate for the company seated together. as I ate it started to hit me how it's really almost here, I will never see this place again as long as I live. I never thought i'd care but I guess I'm getting a little nostalgic. Tonight I will look at the stars under an Iraq sky for the last time. I hope this country can get their act together before we leave, if we leave. Changing their religion from Islam to Christianity would be a start but that won't happen. Sorry I just don't believe in Islam, the vast majority are good people, just are going down the wrong path.
Our plane, lord willing, is leaving at 2:30pm and will get to AlUdeid by 4:30. I'm going to try to go to bed and pack the remainder of my stuff in the morning. So close, I'm just praying nothing crazy happens.

my new hero

please read this article, this soldier is amazing, I got so inspired reading this

http://www.stripes.com/news/middle-east/afghanistan/army-ranger-to-be-awarded-medal-of-honor-1.145202

June flippin 1st!

June!! Has a very wierd ring to it. Half a year lost it seems...My first official day of no longer working and best of all, no weapon, or I mean, walking stick! I turned it in yesterday, spent about 90 minutes cleaning it, to see the armory person stamp my outprocessing sheet and say, "you're good" a huge weight has been lifted. Basically for four months it's having the responsiblity of a parent for something that you have zero emotional attachment to. The constant worrying when you weren't working, "where is it?", at work it was fine because we had the weapon case but going anywhere else, it was with you, the straps pressing against your chest and back, the bulkiness, hitting it against things, to not have to feel this is so liberating! haha
I guess the base was attacked last night, I was in such a deep sleep the alarms and everything were a blur, I guess that's why they want you to not where earplugs, so you can be ready to jump right up. I would never sleep if I didn't have the ear plugs, but it's times like this attack thats kindof scary, I could be asleep and never wake up. Like I've said before, It's a big base, it's like throwing a grain of sand and expecting to hit dead on.
It is great to not have the worry of getting sleep in the back of my mind. It's 8 pm the latest I have been up since AlUdeid. I'm just tired of going to bed at 3:30pm, I'm done with it. But with it comes a lot of adjusting, working out, eating, calling Gina. We'll see if I can get to bed in the next 30 minutes.
We had this Hail and Farewell ceremony, it is for people leaving but since just 5 aerial porters are leaving they combined it with vehicle maintnence at their building, which is a very long walk in 117 degree heat. I walk in 10 minutes before and see a bunch of strangers with the exception of the commander, wierd. Finally, Chief and Bales pop in, but no Shawna. I thought she told me she was going, we both agreed it was a pain for us now that we had the rest of the time off. I thought the guys from the terminal were coming, I'm almost glad they did not because it is asking alot, for them to come see us at this awkward location one hour after shift, they would've just been grumpy. The commander had us come up, spewted off some passenger processing statistics and thanked us. I purposely held off eating because these things usually have pizza, but they had just wings with no ranch, a fruit basket, and cake. I was dissapointed there was no pizza, the pizza here is actually pretty good.
I was talking to chief and Bales and now we aren't leaving until Sunday, but I will double check tomorrow with the logistics guys, we could try to sneak off on a plane to AlUdeid friday, I mean, we work at the flippin terminal, it's a given we could work the system, but then the logistic guys get ticked because they book you on specific flights that the military pays for, it's going to fly whether we're on the plane or not, but really, here AlUdeid, it's the same gig, desert, hot, and waiting to get on our flight home. Might as well stay here, at least the tent I'm in is partitioned.
I was reading in Afghanistan how in the future everything will be dictated by how much it is going to cost. There are positive reviews on progress we've made but then something they mentioned jumped out that isn't surprising at all but just makes me just annoyed. Building the Afghan military is going to cost 6-8 billion per year to operate and maintain, yet the entire government makes only 1.5 billion per year, can you believe that? I remember I was taking one of my teaching classes at ASU in 2005 and one of my classmates was an EOD there (remember then our focus was Iraq) and he said the country was in dire straights, that the infrastructure was basically 19th century. I asked how long would it take to get them caught up and he simply answered, "decades," and this was coming from a 24 yr old. So the big question is, if we are pouring money into their military, which I'm not saying is bad, there are definitely factions of radical Islam that want to turn the country back into a terrorist training ground, but....if it costs 6-8 bil to operate yearly and they only make 1.5, who is going to pay for the rest??? Like my 8th grade students love to say, "the government" but who pays for the government, yes you and me are going to pay for their military to operate, and this is long after we have departed.
It's so wierd seeing a totally different set of faces about the base at night, the MWR is definitely alive with different things going on, volleyball, spin classes, jujitsu, scrabble, pokergames I guess if you were working a 10 hr day you might even say it could be fun filled, but we never had that luxury. I actually ate dinner at the chow hall, a definite first. I wanted to just once, enjoy the wednesday steak and lobster night. Lobster was great, steak, uhhhh. Interesting who I see at 730pm there, Airman CL, what the heck is he doing there? He has to be at work in 4 hrs 15 min, hmmmmmmm, no wonder why he occasionally acts moody, he isn't getting enough sleep. That's what the old McGuire guys use to do, play videogames late and just assume they will get to sleep during work cuz the first six hours are always dead. I know CL is a DJ back in his civilian life and I've overheard him talk about mixing beats, he's probably on the computer mixing s--t up, but you know what? It's not my problem anymore, I'm sure if he was questioned, would not think it was a big deal....
I've tried the insanity workouts, they suck!! I mean that in a good way, they suck because they are so flippin hard, I'm dying!! And it's frustrating because I'm in shape, or at least I think I am, actually I am because I see people on the video totally struggling and dogging it. One girl in the workouts,the infamous Tonya, she has this animated cartoon face that is always pining for camera time, she really dogs it on her form, then when Shaun T comes around she picks it up and she starts making exhausted facial expressions, way over-the-top, a real kiss-a--! hahaha When you spend time by yourself alot like we all do here, it's easy to find the most mundane things amusing and funny

5/30

It feels like I'm swimming as I walk, that how humid it feels. It's a heat categary 5, I think thats the worst, something like 15 min of work followed by 45 min of rest, I may be wrong, I don't know. I have my last official day of work tonight, it's so awsome!!
I finally finished the P90X program, I'm definitely proud of this because I did it without a workout partner and working 75 hrs a week. i lost 16 lbs, wish I lost more but I feel great, I feel at least 10 yrs younger. Now I'm going to give the INSANITY workouts a spin, they look very tough, Sean T might be gay but he is in incredible shape and he gets on you to keep up. I'm about to do my first one in 10 minutes, I'm scared!!
it's now official, the plane lands in Ontario June 9th at 155pm. It's almost a reality, but first thing is first and that is to get the wheels up on the C-130 off Sather friday. I'm starting to rethink whether we should continue with the drawdown, now I say yes. Before I said no, we have too much to lose. Just reading the news I have on it, I think the people in general want us out so bad now, the Iraqi's, there will be so much friction among the general Iraqi population and definitely increased violence. I worry about my comrads we leave behind. There is talk about Iran possibly invading, but seriously, has there been any intel on this, i haven't read anything on it, it's pretty much theoretical. You can't even come close to comparing the end to the end in the Vietnam War, we knew the North was the enemy, that they would overtake the country the second we left. Let's give them a chance to make it on there own, I just feel with what I have seen with the big money here, the many contractors, there is much more to this then protecting a infant-like democracy. Yes, my opinion has changed, yet no matter what I think now, I just know without a doubt that we are going to stay, Factions of both Sunni and Shia are going to be pissed, and this base is going to regress 7-8 yrs in the gains it's made on maintaining local security. Mark my words, it's going to happen, but I just want to be on record saying we should continue with our drawdown and don't look in the rea-view mirror!!

5/29

Man I feel miserable. My eyes are so irritated, I can barely focus. I've been have the worst case of alergies the last few days, yesterday I was real sensitive to sunlight and was feeling light-headed. I really may have to break down and go to sick call. Anderson bought me some generic benedryl but it didn't do any good.
I had to move out of my CHU yesterday, wierd, I actually felt a little sentimental. It was not a fun process because it was about 108 outside and I had to lug my gorilla box to the post office to ship it out. Wow, good thing I wasn't trying to ship out drugs or guns, they opened it up and inspected everything. It was rough moving all my bags to the temporary tents. The tents actually aren't bad, they are partitioned off and have a wall locker, plus the AC was so cold I'm going to need an extra blanket. Still it was loud over there, you could hear the Iraqi firing range and the planes landing.
Something very sad and humorous just happened, I was given a package, it looked like a DVD case. I open it and there is 1 baggage tag held by cardboard, followed by an invoice. I thought, is this a prank, I looked at the invoice and what do you know, it said 1 baggage tag. I looked at the cost of shipping, it said $1.71 Are you flipping kidding me, they sent me 1 baggage tag. Normally, in order to have enough baggage tags, individuals working at the passenger terminalcan order 1,000 baggage tags per month through the AF Portal. I must have made a mistake and accidentally put 1 instead of 1,000. You mean to tell me that noone did a QC and saw I made this boo-boo, they just went and shipped it off. I had to take a picture of it, so stupid! It just goes to show you in the age of automation, mistakes can be made that could nickel and dime the taxpayers.
It's almost 11am, I still feel miserable, I went to go see the doctor, gave me some Claritin, I have never felt like this with allergies, I just need to go to bed and close me eyes....this country is killing me, literally.