Last entry

Well, this is my final blog, I am just over the black sea as we speak, im trying to stay awake so I can sleep o. The second leg is almost 9 hrs long, we stop in Germany for about 90 minutes.  I never thought I'd get to this point, it seemed like such an unobtainable goal.  Now I'm back to my old life, I don't mean that negatively, it's just weird being this military guy in a military world for almost five months, now it's back to reality.  Thanks for reading my blog, it has definitely helped passing the time, remind me that it wasn't all bad or all good, and maybe it helped to show people some things about what we do that maybe you didn't know about.  Here is a summary of the good, bad and ugly of this Sather tour.

Good:  I learned a ton, how to run a terminal in thE AOR, much different then our little terminal back at March.  I feel I could go in and run any terminal with little spinup. We had a lot go on with state department, embassy, united nations, and the army and navy and it was cool to see all these agencies in action. Working on the flight line could be cool, seeing all the different planes and helos in action, sometimes I imagined I was in a war movie and there was dramatic music playing in the background, like in the dark knight, I know it's goofy, but I had to do something to make it exciting.  I had to deal with different personalities and get them to work towards a common cause, this could be much more difficult then you could imagine.

I learned a lot about the mission in Iraq, how we do it, the obstacles, the positive moments.

I got in the best shape in 13 yes, this is the longest I haven't drank caffeine since I was a kid, I ate healthier then i have in many years, hardly any fried, more fruits, and vegetables, I got my blood pressure down 16points and lost 16lbs.

I have a greater appreciation for our troops, the real guys fighting the fire fights, focused now more in Afghanistan.  Some are so isolated, they have to get shoppette supplies from mobile shopettes.  They are busting their asses, getting hurt, traumatized, and isolated, and some come from the poorest parts of America. They are the real heroes, we're just guys doing a job, nothing more and I feel uncomfortable when people go overboard in praise for what I'm doing.

Same line as above, but I'm also really proud of all the security forces at Sather, they had a tough job keeping our base safe.  Though they didn't work twelves like we did they did the security shifts, boring beyond belief, and equally tense at moments.  We all feel incredibly fortunate to have gotten through this unscathed.  At the dfac, they always have a section reserved for only them, I use to think it was very arrogant of them but now I realize they deserve it and a lot more.  

I finished all of my adls requirements, one of only a very few people in pax to accomplish everything, yes everything!

I Finished my SEI 45 course for teaching

I feel my relationship with the lord has grown quite a bit, I've read more of the bible then I ever have, I have learned of just how awesome our god is, that we are all unworthy of eternal life, yet by faith in him, he gives us this gift.  As a Christian, it really is important to read the entire bible from genesis to revelation, it brought me a lot of peace at times, and has allowed me to not have dark thoughts or say something g really mean about someone, most of the time that is, still far from perfect, but I want to keep growing spiritually every year.  It's much easier to do the wrong thing, but much more rewarding to stay the course, every choice you make, you have to ask, "would Jesus had done that?"

People were pretty friendly, strangers, but people would talk, keep the door open for you, I've seen this before with the military so it is no surprise.

The bad:

As friendly as people were, no one really got to know each other in depth, with a few exceptions.  That was unfortunate because in the navy, we got to know each other like brothers, but it was also a little tough with that because I was ncoic.  It did get lonely at the top but not to bad, like being the base commander or something.

The senior enlisted structure, the way it was set up, was flawed.  Way too many chiefs, no one really pull the trigger.  We should have had a head pax superintendent that worked 6 to 6pm.  Too many ridiculous arguments

Some people in the unit were not friendly in my opinion.  A few would just give me looks, like they didn't want to talk to me or just got through talking about me, maybe I misinterpreted their body language or them not acknowledging me with the fact they may have just been having a bad day.

I missed out on a lot with my daughter Jenna, moments I'll never have.  Not to be dramatic, but I missed out on a tenth of her life.

I never got a chance to finish teaching my kids the school year.  I did stay in touch and it was cool to have some students write to me

The whole LOA procedure was ridiculous, which goes back to the leadership thing, for them to make such a big deal about them being off one letter or number was embarrassing, them being off had no effect on the military getting reimbursed for fuel or security violations or anything.  It was done to display power but all it did was divide the military running the port from the civilian contractors.  It created a lot of stress for the contractors, who did not write up their own loas.  There was nothing in the foreign clearance guide or LOI's that stated people should be denied travel if numbers on the loa didn't match, yet we did it time and time again

The temporary holding bin was a joke, how we had to wait out there, it was a waste of time and also enforced to display power by the opposite shift.

The x ray procedure was flawed, the civilians and military passengers hated it, there had to be a better way of doing it, but leadership of course couldn't agree on anything

We lost Tsgt Nelson a month after I got here, his wife was having physical problems, we missed his leadership and expertise, and we worked together well, bouncing ideas off each other all the time.  He also helped me fight some battles with the day shift, but his absence  did force me to be more involved, which was a good thing.

Sometimes the only way to truly learn is by making mistakes, and night shift made a few of them, especially that week in April, but they were made with max effort and not from goofing off.  I messed up from lack of experience, I was the only Nco never to have served on prior deployment or active duty, yet senior leadership never allowed me to use that as justification for any mistake, but that's not surprising,the military is a big boy world, and know one wants to hear excuses, no matter how valid they may be.


The ugly:  

There were a few individuals that were obsessed with policy, no matter if certain parts were nonsensical in nature.  A few leaders specialized in half truths and jumping to conclusions without proper analysis.  Things that were not a big deal were made a big deal, and it created an atmosphere of competition and mistrust.  It made a fairly simple jobs more difficult, stressful, and complex.

People couldn't say stuff straight up, there was a lot of back talking and I saw it in other sections as well, it seemed like there was a two week period where every time I turned around an opposite shift senior nco is having a major discussion right at shift change, that got old fast

Hate to say it, but the entire stress level decreased five fold the second the deployers left may 4

I felt it was pretty ugly that Tsgt B was not made assistant ncoic of day shift when he clearly was at least equal ability with more  time in service then the person that was there.  It didn't make sense and there were a few people that agreed with me

Regarding the April week of mistake an opposite shift senior nco actually had the nerve to say, "people have been talking back at the unit.". That was probably the ugliest thing I'd seen.  Stuff like that makes me want to push the retirement button on virtual MPF, well see if anyone is talking when we return.


So there you have it, the good, bad, and ugly of the deployment, all in all it seemed like I was gone a whole year instead of four months, the number of hours we worked were ungodly but overall I was proud to say I did my part in operation New Dawn serving my country, and I am really glad it's over, yet I will think often of the fellow pax personnel   We left behind and pray for their safe return in October.  If I disappointed you with the content because it wasn't exciting enough or patriotic enough I apologize but I did promise to write what I saw and felt.  Wow 60 entries, I will never have a chance to write this much ever again unless it's for a school paper.  I keep dreaming of the look on Jenna's face when I come out of the tunnel.  So this is Pax 29, Pax 29, I am off the deck, going home to my wonderful family, and I am OUT!!

The Sather Chronicles

P.s. Stay tuned summer 2012 for another exciting chapter, hopefully with an annual tour going to japan or Hawaii, it could be my last ever

June 7

Well, the two days in AlUdeid came and went like that.  It was pretty much the same thing landing as when we were first here in January, hurry up and wait, briefings, but at least turning in stuff was much quicker.  The tent they had us in was great, only about 5 or 6 people.  The food is definitely better, splurged a little on things I didnt eat at all in Iraq like chili cheese fries and yes, I had my first pepsi in more then four month.  The flavor shot in my mouth, it was like drinking it as a kid again.  Day 1 I walked to the main mall thing, It is a big air conditioned structure.  I am amazed at the number of huge multi-million dollar structures in this main area, I was so use to the prefab buildings and tents in Iraq.  These structures are for the living quarters, gym, and mini mall.  Now in the states, this would not be a big deal but to have this in the middle of a small Arabian country, it just made me realize how much it costs to have a military.  We hear numbers like in the billions and it doesn't quite sink in, but to see all of this construction, well, I hope we are going to be staying here for the long haul.  Unlike Iraq, Qatar is a very safe country, within it's borders that is.  It is very tough to even get in this country if you are not Qatari, it's just a great feeling to be somewhere where people are not walking around with weapons.  I worked out, indulged in a tcby berry smoothee, very nice, read, worked out again, goofed on the computer and then went to bed.pretty much the same routine the next day with the exception of watching Battle LA at the base theatre, man that thing was huge!  And the AC! A lot of your planning while waiting at the Deid revolves around which area has the best AC.  It didn't get 120 like thought but it was close!  I saw the movie on the pc in march Haji style, it was goofy and grainy.  At least the movie was more bearable. Because the quality is so great.  It was cool, something to do, good action, but way over the top in all phases, however, had one of the greatest movie quotes of all time:  Bridget moyrahen:  "I think I can help....I'm a veterinarian.". STUPID
Earlier in the day, I was having feelings of anxiety about going back to my civilian work, it's kind of ridiculous that instead of thinking of hanging out with my family, I'm thinking about working another year at the 8th grade, all the possible scenarios, and I'm not "feeling it" in any way, shape, or form.  Like I've said in the past,it's not the teaching, it's the age group.  The lord told me, and I'm sure of this, to just look one last time before I leave, even for the rest of the year, so I look at higley and not only is their one but two history positions available, plus a football coaching position.  I was so amped, I quickly fill out the online app.  It has been quite a challenge to look for jobs over here but the lord has perfect timing, we'll see, still need to get the interview.  Still it made my mood much better, yet it annoys me that I have always been where I sometimes can't enjoy the moment I'm in, that I worry about the next challenge or potential obstacle.  
Workin out the last few days in the Deid, I am amazed at the fitness level of these deployed airmen.  They are much more ripped and fit then when I was in the navy.  I think it's a combination of factors, being on a deployment there is nothing else to do, the supplements today are very advanced, in our day I don't even think creatin was out.  These airmen use them a lot, and in different combinations.  And honestly the air force has completely revamped their fitness program.  When I joined in 2000, the fitness program was a joke, we use to do a two mile walk for crying out loud.  Even the women are running through the roof.  I could work out for days and could not keep up with some of these dudes.  I'm old, no doubt about it, in a young persons military.  But I'm for the most part keeping up which is a good thing.  I only got about 90 minutes of sleep, just couldn't get comfortable, the AC was too cold, too loud, the mattress was killing my hips, then this yahoo gets up at midnight, 2 and a half hours before I do, packing---making noise, I decide to use the bathroom.  He says, "I heard from my lieutenant that our flight has been moved up three hrs.".  I'm so annoyed, this guy wakes me up when we just looked at the flight info 5 hrs prior, right on time buddy!  I just went back to bed, we later find out the guy was wrong, now we are at the terminal, waiting for the show time to board our flight, it still hasn't hit yet I'm going home, part of me has this mindset that we are getting deployed to another location, kin of sick huh?

last night

I'm feeling pretty drowsy. The last two nights in the tents I have had terrible sleep,one thing with the CHU's, they stopped a lot of sound I took for granted. Two days ago it's the flippin Iraqi special forces having firing practice at 2am, lasted about 2 hrs, then last night it was the ghetto birds flying around the same time. Chief Wood of all people coined that term a few days ago, I did a double-take then busted up laughing, I guess you would have to know the oldschool Ice Cube Rap to understand. Overall it equates to about 4 hrs of sleep a night, I'm just struggling there, my Ambien has run out, adjusting to a normal sleep schedule is tougher then I thought. hopefully I can knock out tonight, I need to be on my A-game tomorrow with leaving, landing in AlUdeid, turning in all our IBA and chem gear then getting our billetting for a few nights.
Besides my normal routine of the past few days of working out twice a day, reading, computer-surfing, and watching my new re-imagined Twilight Zone dvd collection (pretty entertaining: 43 hrs of shows, pretty big name actors and actresses in cameo's, all for $15)I did laundry to get ready to leave. normally I do the service but I had to go to the laundry cadillac. That place is annoying to the extreme, the dryers don't work and people just take off for hrs on end where they jam up the machines, then you feel wierd having to handle their clothes. How do people deal with doing their laundry on a regular basis, why not use the laundry service? Why do I care, not my problem anymore
Had my last dinner here, decided to go Mexican. I'll have breakfast tomorrow but that will be it. I saw the command section sitting together but honestly I just wanted to eat alone so I acted like I didn't see them, i know, lame, but I just didn't feel like worrying if I was going to say something not approriate for the company seated together. as I ate it started to hit me how it's really almost here, I will never see this place again as long as I live. I never thought i'd care but I guess I'm getting a little nostalgic. Tonight I will look at the stars under an Iraq sky for the last time. I hope this country can get their act together before we leave, if we leave. Changing their religion from Islam to Christianity would be a start but that won't happen. Sorry I just don't believe in Islam, the vast majority are good people, just are going down the wrong path.
Our plane, lord willing, is leaving at 2:30pm and will get to AlUdeid by 4:30. I'm going to try to go to bed and pack the remainder of my stuff in the morning. So close, I'm just praying nothing crazy happens.

my new hero

please read this article, this soldier is amazing, I got so inspired reading this

http://www.stripes.com/news/middle-east/afghanistan/army-ranger-to-be-awarded-medal-of-honor-1.145202

June flippin 1st!

June!! Has a very wierd ring to it. Half a year lost it seems...My first official day of no longer working and best of all, no weapon, or I mean, walking stick! I turned it in yesterday, spent about 90 minutes cleaning it, to see the armory person stamp my outprocessing sheet and say, "you're good" a huge weight has been lifted. Basically for four months it's having the responsiblity of a parent for something that you have zero emotional attachment to. The constant worrying when you weren't working, "where is it?", at work it was fine because we had the weapon case but going anywhere else, it was with you, the straps pressing against your chest and back, the bulkiness, hitting it against things, to not have to feel this is so liberating! haha
I guess the base was attacked last night, I was in such a deep sleep the alarms and everything were a blur, I guess that's why they want you to not where earplugs, so you can be ready to jump right up. I would never sleep if I didn't have the ear plugs, but it's times like this attack thats kindof scary, I could be asleep and never wake up. Like I've said before, It's a big base, it's like throwing a grain of sand and expecting to hit dead on.
It is great to not have the worry of getting sleep in the back of my mind. It's 8 pm the latest I have been up since AlUdeid. I'm just tired of going to bed at 3:30pm, I'm done with it. But with it comes a lot of adjusting, working out, eating, calling Gina. We'll see if I can get to bed in the next 30 minutes.
We had this Hail and Farewell ceremony, it is for people leaving but since just 5 aerial porters are leaving they combined it with vehicle maintnence at their building, which is a very long walk in 117 degree heat. I walk in 10 minutes before and see a bunch of strangers with the exception of the commander, wierd. Finally, Chief and Bales pop in, but no Shawna. I thought she told me she was going, we both agreed it was a pain for us now that we had the rest of the time off. I thought the guys from the terminal were coming, I'm almost glad they did not because it is asking alot, for them to come see us at this awkward location one hour after shift, they would've just been grumpy. The commander had us come up, spewted off some passenger processing statistics and thanked us. I purposely held off eating because these things usually have pizza, but they had just wings with no ranch, a fruit basket, and cake. I was dissapointed there was no pizza, the pizza here is actually pretty good.
I was talking to chief and Bales and now we aren't leaving until Sunday, but I will double check tomorrow with the logistics guys, we could try to sneak off on a plane to AlUdeid friday, I mean, we work at the flippin terminal, it's a given we could work the system, but then the logistic guys get ticked because they book you on specific flights that the military pays for, it's going to fly whether we're on the plane or not, but really, here AlUdeid, it's the same gig, desert, hot, and waiting to get on our flight home. Might as well stay here, at least the tent I'm in is partitioned.
I was reading in Afghanistan how in the future everything will be dictated by how much it is going to cost. There are positive reviews on progress we've made but then something they mentioned jumped out that isn't surprising at all but just makes me just annoyed. Building the Afghan military is going to cost 6-8 billion per year to operate and maintain, yet the entire government makes only 1.5 billion per year, can you believe that? I remember I was taking one of my teaching classes at ASU in 2005 and one of my classmates was an EOD there (remember then our focus was Iraq) and he said the country was in dire straights, that the infrastructure was basically 19th century. I asked how long would it take to get them caught up and he simply answered, "decades," and this was coming from a 24 yr old. So the big question is, if we are pouring money into their military, which I'm not saying is bad, there are definitely factions of radical Islam that want to turn the country back into a terrorist training ground, but....if it costs 6-8 bil to operate yearly and they only make 1.5, who is going to pay for the rest??? Like my 8th grade students love to say, "the government" but who pays for the government, yes you and me are going to pay for their military to operate, and this is long after we have departed.
It's so wierd seeing a totally different set of faces about the base at night, the MWR is definitely alive with different things going on, volleyball, spin classes, jujitsu, scrabble, pokergames I guess if you were working a 10 hr day you might even say it could be fun filled, but we never had that luxury. I actually ate dinner at the chow hall, a definite first. I wanted to just once, enjoy the wednesday steak and lobster night. Lobster was great, steak, uhhhh. Interesting who I see at 730pm there, Airman CL, what the heck is he doing there? He has to be at work in 4 hrs 15 min, hmmmmmmm, no wonder why he occasionally acts moody, he isn't getting enough sleep. That's what the old McGuire guys use to do, play videogames late and just assume they will get to sleep during work cuz the first six hours are always dead. I know CL is a DJ back in his civilian life and I've overheard him talk about mixing beats, he's probably on the computer mixing s--t up, but you know what? It's not my problem anymore, I'm sure if he was questioned, would not think it was a big deal....
I've tried the insanity workouts, they suck!! I mean that in a good way, they suck because they are so flippin hard, I'm dying!! And it's frustrating because I'm in shape, or at least I think I am, actually I am because I see people on the video totally struggling and dogging it. One girl in the workouts,the infamous Tonya, she has this animated cartoon face that is always pining for camera time, she really dogs it on her form, then when Shaun T comes around she picks it up and she starts making exhausted facial expressions, way over-the-top, a real kiss-a--! hahaha When you spend time by yourself alot like we all do here, it's easy to find the most mundane things amusing and funny

5/30

It feels like I'm swimming as I walk, that how humid it feels. It's a heat categary 5, I think thats the worst, something like 15 min of work followed by 45 min of rest, I may be wrong, I don't know. I have my last official day of work tonight, it's so awsome!!
I finally finished the P90X program, I'm definitely proud of this because I did it without a workout partner and working 75 hrs a week. i lost 16 lbs, wish I lost more but I feel great, I feel at least 10 yrs younger. Now I'm going to give the INSANITY workouts a spin, they look very tough, Sean T might be gay but he is in incredible shape and he gets on you to keep up. I'm about to do my first one in 10 minutes, I'm scared!!
it's now official, the plane lands in Ontario June 9th at 155pm. It's almost a reality, but first thing is first and that is to get the wheels up on the C-130 off Sather friday. I'm starting to rethink whether we should continue with the drawdown, now I say yes. Before I said no, we have too much to lose. Just reading the news I have on it, I think the people in general want us out so bad now, the Iraqi's, there will be so much friction among the general Iraqi population and definitely increased violence. I worry about my comrads we leave behind. There is talk about Iran possibly invading, but seriously, has there been any intel on this, i haven't read anything on it, it's pretty much theoretical. You can't even come close to comparing the end to the end in the Vietnam War, we knew the North was the enemy, that they would overtake the country the second we left. Let's give them a chance to make it on there own, I just feel with what I have seen with the big money here, the many contractors, there is much more to this then protecting a infant-like democracy. Yes, my opinion has changed, yet no matter what I think now, I just know without a doubt that we are going to stay, Factions of both Sunni and Shia are going to be pissed, and this base is going to regress 7-8 yrs in the gains it's made on maintaining local security. Mark my words, it's going to happen, but I just want to be on record saying we should continue with our drawdown and don't look in the rea-view mirror!!

5/29

Man I feel miserable. My eyes are so irritated, I can barely focus. I've been have the worst case of alergies the last few days, yesterday I was real sensitive to sunlight and was feeling light-headed. I really may have to break down and go to sick call. Anderson bought me some generic benedryl but it didn't do any good.
I had to move out of my CHU yesterday, wierd, I actually felt a little sentimental. It was not a fun process because it was about 108 outside and I had to lug my gorilla box to the post office to ship it out. Wow, good thing I wasn't trying to ship out drugs or guns, they opened it up and inspected everything. It was rough moving all my bags to the temporary tents. The tents actually aren't bad, they are partitioned off and have a wall locker, plus the AC was so cold I'm going to need an extra blanket. Still it was loud over there, you could hear the Iraqi firing range and the planes landing.
Something very sad and humorous just happened, I was given a package, it looked like a DVD case. I open it and there is 1 baggage tag held by cardboard, followed by an invoice. I thought, is this a prank, I looked at the invoice and what do you know, it said 1 baggage tag. I looked at the cost of shipping, it said $1.71 Are you flipping kidding me, they sent me 1 baggage tag. Normally, in order to have enough baggage tags, individuals working at the passenger terminalcan order 1,000 baggage tags per month through the AF Portal. I must have made a mistake and accidentally put 1 instead of 1,000. You mean to tell me that noone did a QC and saw I made this boo-boo, they just went and shipped it off. I had to take a picture of it, so stupid! It just goes to show you in the age of automation, mistakes can be made that could nickel and dime the taxpayers.
It's almost 11am, I still feel miserable, I went to go see the doctor, gave me some Claritin, I have never felt like this with allergies, I just need to go to bed and close me eyes....this country is killing me, literally.

5/26

Three days ago I got invited by Shawna to got to the VBC area to the bazaars. Smith and Anderson were going to. It felt good to get off base, it's been about two months I think. We go to the artificial lakes to get to the shopping area, can't remember the name. We got temporarily lost but it gave me a chance to take some pictures, I saw a few mosques I wasn't sure were there before. I wish we could stop by them to take a few pictures but I'm not driving. We get to the little area to shop, it's dead, this might because of the command directive that pretty much bans us from eating at most of these eatery's. They did some tests and found some high levels of bacteria, I mean, I do appreciate the looking out for our safety, but I do feel bad for these restaurants, how are they going to survive? It's interesting to see the dynamic of the military trying to stimulate business in the country, yet we also have the power to crush as well. We go to shop at these places, most of the stuff is lame, just wierd clothing styles, very euro-centric with the soccor style shirts and the huge emblems on shirts, the gawdy shoes, and jeans I wouldn't be caught dead in. We stayed there much longer then I wanted, I knew the bazaar by the main exchange would have a much better selection.

I bought a t-shirt and a coin. We get to the Bazaar, I'm making a few deals, then it seems not even 20 minutes, the group is acting like they want to go. Here we go again, flashbacks of every annual tour I've ever gone on, always being dependant on other people, great difficulty ever being able to do anything on your off-time 100% independantly. so now I have to rush my shopping,I got almost everything but their were I few items I wanted to grab that I couldn't. It seemed like everything was over-priced, you could barter, which I did, but they only go down so much, honestly I was too tired to make a scene and try to get them to go lower then I did. I got my wife a cool dress and the girls cute scarfs, and got other various items for the family. I felt a little bummed spending the money I did, maybe I'm just not use to shopping. But with me I try to do the glass half full philosophy, noy very many people come here, even fewer buy things from here, I was able to do that. I hope people like my stuff. We got back and I got about 5 hrs sleep, I was hurting.

The next day was crazy, same ole stuff, cancellations, diversions, delays. Sergeant "Jump to" was parolling the area, I never remember sergeant "Vulcan" coming around the terminal this much, (shrug shoulders). He finally comes up to me and asks me about the schedule, I told him Sgt. Smith has been doing it. He then starts asking me all these questions about it, "why has A1C M been in the same sections two weeks straight?" 1. Another exageration, hasn't been that many days, 2. Why are you asking me about this, didn't I just tell you I wasn't doing the schedule? Everything was said to me in a manner that conveyed that I was either to blame or responsible, he said to find out about it, I'm thinking, "no, I'll email him to talk to you about it, I'm not responsible for this." Then 30 minutes later, the ATOC rep and dispatcher are trying to get ahold of the gate regarding bringing pax out to the plane and there is no response. I'm manning the X-ray sation, I go into dispatch and say, "why is it that noone is answering that radio call when we have three people manning that station?!" I was annoyed, but even got more annoyed when I saw sergent "Jump-to" was sitting down at the desk. Great, he's listening, I'm sure in some grand scheme of things I am personally, directly responsible for the Gate not answering the radio. Where's Sergeant C??? Probably at the plane where he does absolutely no good as an NCOIC. It's so busy around the terminal and so many darn people are going through the X-ray that I do not get to speak to him until an hour and a half later. I tell him, "you do us no good being at the plane, you need to be at the flight line so you can monitor what the gates are doing, we had a situation where the gate isn't answering the radio, how can you monitor that when you are behind the darn C-130 engines??" He said he's just use to going out there, but I told him he's the NCOIC, he's gotta be available for dispatch to pass down information, he keeps taking off, and he's of no use not being where the action is. He's worrying me, he try's hard but to me it's obvious he doesn't want the responsibility so he sets himself up to subtley avoid it. I'm really not going to over worry myself, I really am trying but as soon as I get in that C-130 it's no longer my concern.

We are trying to leave at shift change when we see the baggage guys are still building a pallet. This is annoying because the day shift should be taking this over, they have plenty of people in their sections to where they can get them to assist in building the pallet. I could bring this up but honestly, I have a short-timers attitude in that it would be too much work and heartache to see this through. So we start helping them, it's crappily built, and very soon, it falls apart, almost burying A1C Salee from the other shift, all 145 lbs of him. He's pissed, and angrily limps off and slams the gate. All of the sudden SSgt. Mohr takes charge, barking orders, saying we can do this, it's nothing. I'm impressed, I can tell some of the airmen don't like this, but she served at Bagram, an insanely busy port, and that alone gives her some definite respect points in my book. A1C CL starts complaining, this is dissapointing because him and D worked very hard to this point working baggage the whole shift, but now things that are coming out of his mouth are turning me off. He's asking for the rationale and the "Why" to the purpose of this whole pallet? I try to tell him, we had to reconfigure the pallet to fit PAX, with this new configuration we can only put on one pallet so yes, it's going to be a real big pallet. He the proceeds to ask out loud, "why didn't somebody stand up for us?" I'm thinking, "what?? That makes no sense, it's not about standing up, it's about MOVING PEOPLE!!" some of these flippin airmen, their mentality is all about the amount of work they do or don't do, not about being a professional and doing your job, completing the mission. I let the comment slide, it would be a waste of time to respond and delay us from getting this done and getting the heck out of their. I proceed to help re-build the pallet. I did take a mental note and I will repond the next time he openly complains about something again. We finish it, it looks fantastic, I'm proud of sergeant Mohr for taking charge of the situation. I've said it before and I'd say it again, I am not a pallet building expert.

I have the day off, I have to go in to fill out a questionaire for medical so I have to do it on a military computer. sergeants E and "jump-to" are there, please don't tell me they are going to start asking me about stuff on my day off. They do, first "jump-to" about if I talked to smith. No, he was off yesterday and I was off today, how could I have time to talk to him, I told him i sent him an email to talk to you as soon as you got in. He leaves and then sergeant E stays behind and asks me something that totally threw me off. He asked me if there was a mutiny going on against someone. At first I wanted to laugh, i said who? He said sergeant C, wow, I couldn't believe it. I've had some frustrations with him but I have not verbalized it. I told him no, not since a particular airmen expressed concerns but that was two weeks ago and I told sergeant E about it. I said I'm trying to help him take my job over. He said that was all he needed to know then left. what was that all about? what was said? Great!! I'm at a point I honestly don't trust anyone in are section that is a higher rank then me right now, and there are very few people in our aerial port section that are higher rank then me so if you can read between the lines...I thought all the drama left when the last group of aerial port deployers left?? Who flippin knows! I guess I'll have to do some investigating tonight. A mutiny!! I can't believe it! To hear the words "civil war" and "mutiny" being used in describing the airmen to airmen interactions of the aerial port is just goofy! Man, just let me survive oh lord, just one more week!!

5/23

Random thoughts:

I was proud of my guys yesterday. We had one of the dreaded, "thru-load" planes that go to multiple destinations. so we had to get people off that were terminating here, take the baggage pallet of the plane, then combine it with the bags of the PAX going from here to AlUdeid. of course this happens right at shift change, chalk up another week I miss Sunday service, we can go 7 hrs without a flight then conveniently, week after week, have flights scheduled starting 10:30 am, what is it, the logistic planner not believe in god? So we have to take apart and build up a baggage pallet right when we were supposed to get off, no one complained, we did it, but then ATOC said that because there were toolboxes being loaded, we may have to bump pax, which meant that people may have to get their bags off the pallet if they were bumped. That was our cue, we (the night shift) was outta there. The day cargo people didn't seem to like it, too bad, wasn't our fault, either LOG planning or load planning dropped the ball. The old McGuire guys would had left right at shift brief, which by doing so, were throwing me under the bus because I would then proceed to get chewed out by day shift, which would then start or continue our civil war. These guys do care, they are professional, and I'm gratefull.
But everytime something will go right, there is a monkeywrench. Sergeant W was late for the third time, I told sergeant S he's now the assistant NCOIC and sergeant C he is the NCOIC but none of them seem to want to do anything about guys showing up late, I refuse to deal with it anymore, this is there crew now. All I know is they are setting a terrible precedent, I documented tardiness, dealt with it, assigned extra work, now these guys are letting stuff slide. Now the guys that had stuff said to them are going to feel unfairly picked on. Oh well, I tried, they are going to have a big mess down the road, guaranteed, people will start showing up late left and right. I was late one time since I was here, because I could not find my id card, but I called 10 minutes before shift brief to let them know so it's not technically being late.
The cadillac kept losing power last week, it was wierd, we got on maintnence about it and guess what happened? Someone stuck underwear down the toilet, not even underwear, drawells!! It is so sick it's not even human, there is no way a military person did this, had to have been Haji or Ugandan. I told one of the contractors, "what the hell?" and he says, "exactly, that's where this place is located!" He's right, but man it's Just wrong!!
It's now in the 100's, with the humidity, the heat totally saps your strength, to where just walking to and from the DFAC/fitness center/shopette seems risky.
There are continued assasinations of Iraq's military leadership by Al qaeda, it goes to show they are a long ways away, they as in their police force, from taking the reigns. I mean, people are just able to walk around with silencers and just capping people in broad daylight, C'mon?!!
I saw a caption on CNN saying that Baghdad got hit with bombings and 20 were dead, I would assume civilians, not our military, i coul've sworn I heard some rockets way in the distance this morning.

time is going way too slow, the last week has seemed like a month.

One of the freight NCO's will not tell us how to pronounce her last name, it is some eastern european, polish sounding name. One could easily deduce how it might sound, part of the problem is its there a part thats "vlj" with vowels before and after. She refuses to tell anyone, she just says, "call me "tp." TP? Do you know what I think when i thnk of the initials TP? remember the cadillacs?....We all think it's silly and actually a little unprofessional, I don't tell people "call me sergeant T.O" Very nice person, but i don't get the initials. the next time I have to address this person, I'm going to just go for it and try to pronounce their name

I forgot to mention the other day, at the end of Jenna's melt-down she says, "daddy,I don't want you watching football when you get home, I don't want to watch it with you anymore?" She's killing me, thank god for DVR, but I may have to put her to bed early on satuday and sunday. I was sad she was crying but it was a little funny how she mentioned football all of the sudden. seriously, I will be focused on them much more

5/20

Jenna and Chelsea put on the funniest show, they were dancing like divas, bigtime, I couldn't believe how sassy Jenny was dancing, it was funny but also scary, she was just mimicking the video but doing to the T. I can't remember the songs, i think it was GAGA, Chelsea going to town also. This was the clearest I had ever seen the video phone work, it was great, like looking at a video camera. Then Jenna broke my heart, started crying for 15 minutes straight, saying how much she missed me and why couldn't I come home right now!? I would've felt worse but I was worried about not finding my i.d. (it freaked me out, I left it in my dirty blouse but luckily they hadn't delivered out the laundry so I got it out, once again the lord looking down on me, would've caused major problems if I had to wait till Sat. to get it back.) I think poor Jenna had been holding that in her system a long time, and she felt better getting it off her chest. It's going to be fun just spoiling them for the next few weeks.
Remember Sgt. Smartypants? She has been so nice lately, saying hi how are you doing, big smile on her face. It's funny, I want to say, "aren't you the same person that gave me the disgusted look when I was filming Iraqi's at the park like i was allowed?" But I didn't I just smiled back. what can I say, this place can bring out the worst moods in everyone
I am so sick of hearing endless cliche's, can't people thinking of original things to say, instead of, "another day in paradise,""same s--t different day""living the dream" gets old.
I am so close to getting my SEI-45 class finished, just two more assignments. Then I can really relax

5/18

What a crazy day. We had six cancellations, 5 from the dust storm and one from an engine malfunction probably due to the duststorm. It create a butterfly effect, like we went back in time and changed one things, and it changed everything. Plus there were 6 emergency leaves trying to get on planes today. The cancellations forced people off the plane obviously, so we have to try to put them back in the space a system, we have to rotate them off the flight in GATES, make sure they get their bags, plus we have he Army R&R personnel we have to try to put them on other flights because they're higher priority then Space A's. Sound complicated? it is, and everyone did a pretty darn good job adjusting to it. A few were getting frustrated, but i say, "why get frustrated? any time you have cancelled flights things are going to go belly up, why fight it?" We had a inspection tour, the new Deputy commander of the base. He had an entourage and I showed him around the terminal. Beside about two seconds of stage fright, I did fine. I walked them over to the gate, and to my disbelief, TSgt. C isn't there, unbelievable! Thank god I was there, I just did the brief he was supposed to do. What the heck, two days ago the new Chief of the base is doing a tour, I tell Cusick to meet him at the counter so he can take him around. 20 minutes later I'm at the fligthline I look and there walks past an entourage with the new Chief, no Cusick. I look to my left and whose standing there daydreaming, C""!!! I go up to him and say, "the group you were supposed to take on a tour WALKED PAST YOU!!" Now this, to which he said something he was waiting in dispatch for them to go through there, "no that's not what I asked you to do, I asked you to be at the gate." I personally like him but he is KILLING me!. His head sometimes is somewhere else, and he has told me he worries about his grown daughter at home, I get that, but you have to step up dude! I got a pretty cool compliment the other day but I red flag just as well. One of our key airman said, "you are the only reason why we aren't getting our butts chewed out every day, you actually have a back-bone and will stand up for us, you know your s__t and you know how to manage people." Wow, pretty cool. This was in reference to why they are feeling very nervous having C take over my spot. I told this to the superintendent, who suggested maybe I switch my assistant NCOIC, I said, "well he has 14 yrs experience".."exactly, why isn't he a tech now?"...."good point"..."thats a red flag there, we're not sure about some of the things we've seen out of him." so that night he is supposed to make the schedule, he shows up late, he's jerking around getting it done, C looks at me and say's, "do you want to show him?...." to which W says defensively and annoyingly, "I've done a schedule before many many times!!" So we both look at him and say nothing. Well, he jacks the schedule up to kingdom come, has people on there that are off, he forgets to save it in the O drive. He doesn't bother re-typing it, so in the morning guess what our two master sergeants from ATOC ask for, the schedule!! I was pissed!! I told them straight up, I did NOT MAKE THAT SCHEDULE, SSGT. W did. heck ya I threw him under the bus, no way he's going to make me look bad after the nonsense I went through with the last crew. I brought him in later and told him he made me look like a jack-ass in from of them because of the schedule. His first reponse, "why are they looking at the schedule?" That's not the point, the point is you got all defensive when we tried to help you with the schedule like a darn know-it-all and you not only made yourself look bad, you made me look bad! He then says, "when are they leaving again?" Dudddde, you're starting to sound like some of the kids I teach, just refuse to accept responsibility. Well two hours later MSgt. E calls in C first, then W, then S, and when the dust settled, SSgt. S is the new assitant NCOIC with C still taking over for me. He probably thinks i had soemthing to do with it but they wanted to make that change from day one. That's a deployed area for you, very quick to use first impressions and show little patience to allow one to snap out of anything.
SSgt. Wall is slowly starting to come around, a few jokes here and there, it's good to see

the new guys

Man, am I embarrassed!
I just went to Taco Bell, and the haji cashier starts reciting exactly what my order is going to be, "chicken burrito supreme-extra onions, chicken quesadilla, bean burrito-extra onions." i started laughing, I told him, "I think I eat here too much." Either that or they have a super memory.

Our new guys are settling in well. A lot of experience. One of them was at Guam when we were there in 2007. I knew he looked familiar, small world. He wants to put in a complaint with the IG about the water bottles here. They are so big, and people are so wastefull with them. I totally agree with him, it is atrocious!! To my knowledge, there is only one recycling plant in the entire country! I told him, whatever I can do to help, let me know. It's a terrible waste, and with 11 yrs active duty, he seems to have the knowledge to be able to make it happen. One of the new crew I am very bewildered over. Very bizarre personality. I had an annoying but somewhat humorous first meeting with this person. I will call this person Sgt. "Wall" because I have never seen a person put up such a barrior in terms of socialization. I'm not sure if the humor in the conversation will show through, but a lot of it was tone in which they said what they did.

Me: "So, I can't remember, are you active duty?"
Wall: "no i am not!"
Me: "Oh your a reservist!"
Wall: "No I am not, I am in the Air Guard." (are you kidding me? there is no difference!! It's both part time, one weekend a month two weeks a year. The typical response should have been just, "Air Guard")

I then try to initialize some basic conversation in order to get to know this individual better

Me: "Ya, this is my first deployment"
Wall: fake laughter, "first deployment? hahahahahaha first deployment? you've GOT to be kidding me? Wow, first one!" (this was very annoying, it was said in a tone both condenscending and demeaning. what have I got to be ashamed about? Our unit went on our first one ever two years ago, are we less of a unit because we didn't? It actually made me greatfull I never joined the sorry-ass Guard, I had always heard they were getting deployed all the time, that's why I didn't join them. It was then I started thinking in my head, "hmmmmmm.")

more dialogue

Me: "So what do you do in the real world?"
Wall: "Stay safe?!" (I wanted to laugh,"you mean you can't tell me what you do for a living in the real world?" Funny!)

And finally

Me: "So, you married, family, kids or anything?"
Wall: "Family's good" (WOW!)

I wasn't the first person to take notice, for our first shirt asked, "have you noticed anything peculiar about....." "yes, first shirt, I'm trying to wrap my brain around it."

the only thing I can do is make sure they do their job. Noone is required to communicated outside of work related topics. to each their own I guess....

The new day shift NCOIC is a refreshing change of pace. He's mellow (like me), says little, and after getting the info he needs, he's gone! He doesn't hang out in the dispatch for 10 minutes and tell the dispatcher his endless aerial port knowledge, shift exploits and flawless experiences. And he doesn't take a daily inspection of the premises before shift brief. And I haven't seen him engage with the Shift superintendent outside for 20 minutes, and then coincedentally, have to hear the opposite shift superintendent say, "I've been hearing there's some rumblings...." So far, everything is good.

I have been getting very excited thinking of seeing my family again, going to Sea World, Disneyland, Dylan's graduation. It's almost a reality! I realized I must do better at engaging the kids more with fun activities we can do as a family, not just watching t.v. I realized being here I sometimes took it for granted in the past, saying "I worked hard, I deserve to be on the computer, or watch football, watch a movie." It is so important to the kids to give them my full attention, I will definitely strive to make them number one, besides God of course.

5/9

The March guys are officially gone, the four I came here with are the only ones letf from March. It's wild how different it feels now from when they were here, much less tension, like a huge weight has been lifted. This is how a deployment should feel with the relative workload we have. Like sergeant "Vulcan" had said, "It's like some of these people want to act like you need a doctorates degree in Aerial porting to accomplish the mission....so much bitching, whining, and complaining." Oh well, it is what it is, it's not like I have to worry about it again since this is my one and only deployment (at least in my opinion)regardless of the past, I pray for their safe return to March, and overall as a group, they can be proud of the effort they put in over here.
I finally got to go to Chaplin service, it was cool. They had a few guys playing instruments and singing, songs I recognized. The message was unusually short (20 min) and sort of vague, but with it being military, it did not surprise me. It was from Luke 24, I'll have to go back and re-read that, see what my study notes say in my ipad bible. It was a good break, hopefully with our increased manpower, I will get to go every week.
I went out tonight to wait for the C-17, out of the corner of my eye I saw a bright flash. I said to one of the guys, "wow, lightning on such a clear day?" The said, "that came from the ground, not the sky" Wow, that was a big explosion. And what do you know, it came right from the direction of Baghdad.
I heard John Mccain is coming out tomorrow, but it will be on the other shift. Too bad, I'd love to meet the guy but not to sacrifice sleep in order to do it

5/6

I had a very wierd sensation today, I guess you could say it was as close as I've come to a panic attack. I was doing the X-ray today, annoyed as I always am of having to open the temporary baggage holding bin and stand there while people fiddle around trying to decide what to take out of their bag, ask me 20 times per hour, "do you think you can open the holding bin so I can drop off my bags?" ya that, it was a huge issue three months ago. Anyways, i look up and it took a second to comprehend what I was seeing. I saw what was clearly a middle easterner, Iraqi as far as I could see, he was late 40's early 50's, in a cheap light blue suit, taking off his body armor. i just had a crazy visual, that he was a suicide bomber, and his body armor was packed with explosives. My heartrate must've went through the roof, my imagination went crazy, too much news footage I guess, ormovies, the crap happening with foreign nationals in Kabul, whatever,the guys even looked a little like Khalid Sheikh Muhammed, the architect of the hijackings of 9-11, Bin Ladens right hand man. I thought, "this could be it," said a quick prayer that it wasn't. I held my breath, ran it through, to my relief looked like the thousands of IBA's I have put through the X-ray. What a relief, I'm not over-dramatizing any of this, I really felt these emotions very quickly and vividly, without warning. I then felt a little anger but took a few deep breaths and it soon passed.
I met the new guys, they obviously aren't happy to be here. 4 of the 5 are Staff's and this is now their fourth, fifth deployment. I told you we're pushing our military to the max. Hopefully they will relax, they were tense and frowning the whole time I was talking to them. I would definitely feel exactly how they would feel if I had to come to another one of these.
As much of a wave of paranoia swept through me earlier, later it was bigtime nostalgia. I was going to go do my dreaded Yoga session of P90X,(I'm 2 weeks from finishing the entire three month program), when I saw they were having another beginning of the month barbecue at the MWR tent, the one that had no food a few months back. they played a song I hadn't heard of in what seems like years, "Joanna" by Kool and the Gang. What a great song, it was nice to hear it, it brought back a lot of memories of high school, Flagstaff, Kachina Village, Ernest, Monica and Shannon Marburger, Vince Bill....it's great how songs can do that, especially when you need a little escape at the moment. I might have to buy that song for my I-pod. Well, time to eat, read, sleep and do it all over again.

Osama Bin Laden

I wish I would've wrote this as soon as it happened, cuz then it wouldn't have sounded like I jumped on the facebook bandwagon. First people were frothing at the mouth, then they were saying it's wrong to fight hate with hate. here's what I was feeling...
When I first saw it on t.v. I thought it said Obama is dead, i said "what??" but I thought they wouldn't put a simple statement like that on CNN, then I saw and I wanted to jump out of my seat with joy. Anyone that is in the military can share the intense frustration and anger that he has not been found in 10 yrs. He's is radical Islam's Adolph Hitler, a genius that could've done so much good for society if he would've gone down the right path. But they both took fear and hatred and used them to gain power, which is the very essence of evil. His disciples have not played by the law of armed conflict, yet we are supposed to yield to this higher standard. But after I felt this huge sense of relief I immediately thought, "I wish he would've been captured." One, so he could be held accountable but as a christian, I believe that Jesus said that none are worthy of eternal life without him, that all have sinned and "the wages of sin is death, but those that believe in him should not perish but have everlasting life", and it we would simple, repent and have faith that he is our personal lord and savior, then anyone can be saved, you, me, Lindsey Lohan,Saddam Hussein, and yes, even Osama Bin Laden. Does being saved excuse you from crimes committed in society, certainly not, there are probably lots of people that are born again christians who are on death row or doing life in prison. the bible speaks often of obeying man's laws and we will be held accountable. Our life is like a blink of an eye in the timeline of the universe, what is your status for after you die? I don't know how anyone deployed to a war zone could not think of life, death, and what else is there after we die. Sadamm actually had his chance to make things right with the lord, he was captured and given a chance to repent to the lord before he was excecuted, but based on news reports, he was defiant and in denial until the bitter end. Bin Laden didn't have that chance, he should've held up his hands. His example goes to show to not wait to be right with the lord, you never know when your time is up. That's why I worry so much for my family and friends that they find the lord before it's too late. Like I said before in past entries, accepting the lord into your heart doesn't stop you from making mistakes, but it does change your life completely and see things in a whole new light. But I do understand that people were very happy to see him dead, he's caused a lot of pain and heartache. I just think, "Was there was ever a time in his life he could've taken a left instead of a right, became a christian instead of a Jihadi?", he could've been a powerfull crusader for god instead of an agent of evil. I guess that's what makes god so incredible, the power of free will, he doesn't really force us to do anything, he gives us a choice, and for good or bad, we have to live with them. I'll just keep praying for my family and friends that they will accept the lord in their lives, and pray that I will always fight to stay on the right path,and get right back on if I stray off.
Gotta go, laundry, Taco Bell (I know, a war zone and a taco bell, hey I don't make the rules!), read a little bit and sleep in!!!Day off!!!

5/1

Thank god for the month of May, it feels good to get to this point. I had to write up my first person today, it was a long time coming. This person knew we had a flight coming in and he chooses to use the bathroom, he gets out there and the ATOC rep is walking the pax off the plane. I didn't know this because I was helping out at the counter. But I had three people tell me what happenened, it's good to know someone besides myself cares, they are tired of us looking bad. that was the last draw, me and Shawna had told him the next time would be paperwork. It wasn't that bad, he knew it was coming and it definitely isn't the first time back at his home station. He's the type that feels like he knows something that everyone else does not, that he's the only sane one in the world, like he's got some superior grasp of reality, it's kindof funny. it's inmaturity, trying to grab attention, he's like 20 I wasn't upset at all, I just told him he's making me look bad and by doing paperwork upper management can say, "that's not on Owens." It hasn't even been a month, it could be a long deployment for him, the change needs to come from him, not us forcing him to. We'll see, also I took away his computer use at work for a week, that part I feel silly, like his dad or something.
There are a few female contractors on base who wear the tightest jeans here,it's not like I look, I try to honor my wife by not looking, I just notice all the guys whose eyeballs pop out of the back of their head, haha. Why would you want to bring so much attention on yourself? Especially when the man to woman ratio is 18:1 It's like they paint them on, wouldn't you want loose comfortable clothes? don't get it, you can see the rows of male eyes that totally gawk at them at the Dfac, it's funny to watch, I wish I could film it, but it's annoying because these women must know, i would personally hate the feeling that I'm being stared down by a bunch of people...
Can't remember if I mentioned what I call "officer alley, its the little passageway separating the DFAC with chained link fence. Put of this leads into the Dfac while the other part leads to the CHU's. It's annoying going through there at lunch because there are so many officers that walk through there. It's like you have to salute 20 times. there is a certain anxiety level with saluting. you have to look for the insignia on the hat, you don't want to miss a salute because you can get chewed out. Half these officers don't even care, and give you an apathetic look and a half-assed salute. i always try to say, "good afternoon sir/mam" but half the time they don't even respond and then you feel like an idiot. The worst part of this anxiety is the possibility of accidentally saluting a fellow enlisted. The is the worst loser-move anyone can do. I haven't done it here yet but I have in the past and you feel like a total fool, it's embarrassing and you will get razzed if acquantences see it. So this whole mental process going through your mind sounds something like this, "where's the insignia, hard to see, the sunlight, is that a crows nest or an eagle, a clove or a cluster, do i say anything? do i not, then ill appear rigid, i cant' tell, do i just not salute, but what if he is an officer?" This happens every time going through officer alley. We have way too many officers here, they get paid alot and work an easy 8 hr day every day. Some are just specialists at a specific job and aren't in charge of anyone, I have more responsibilty then most. It's not that i dislike them, I would've become one myself but i got my degree a year too late. I better run, it's 3:18.....

4/30

Real boring day at work, dragging pretty bad, three hours to go. The shooting deaths of 8 air force servicemen in Kabul has weighed on me. For one, because my cousin chris is stationed there and he trains Afghans in Secuirty Forces stuff, and another, is, who can you trust? This afghan who did this, he was a pilot in their air force, we trusted him. I heard from my Aunt that Chris knew two of the guys that were killed, they were in the office accross from him. I also found out that two were stationed at Luke Air force Base. It's sad and it really ticks you off at the people we are trying to help. Then I look around and we have people everywhere carrying weapons. The mission is different here, at least at Sather. We don't really see Iraqi military walking around, they are mostly at area IV their special ops section, which is disconnected from Sather by about 1 mile. The foreign nationals we see are the Ugandan guards and the laborers from Pakistan/India. So it is a different mission here, but you can't help but think about it a little, still you can't dwell on it for too long because it weighs on you. I signed up a Captain and asked him about how many deployments he's been on and he said 5, that's crazy. I asked if when he had to drive to different bases I asked if he thought he felt safer, and he said sometimes. "other times," he said, "it feels like they are trying to funnel us into a trap." He expressed how he's pretty dissapointed we haven't come further along in our progress. But he says, "you can't fight against their culture." Not surprised. I need to ask these guys more often what their opinions are on the state of affairs here, alot of times we just go through the motions of doing our jobs, we see the people behind the uniform and think too much of our own lives and problems, but I'm sure there are interesting stories out there.
Speaking of foreign nationals, we have had to learn this training on screening them when they get off the flight. This is wierd, because you would think if they were on a flight, they would be screened. But now they are looking for items that they can use to acquire information, cameras, usb memory devices. If we find them we have to confiscate them, which stinks, because there are going to be some upset people. Thank god they don't have weapons and SF personnel should be there to help us. Another thing to stress out about....
I asked Chief about why we all of the sudden have to screen them and he said that there will be many more coming in to replace the departing troops. He was having a side conversation with some of the SF's when I started listening in. Seems like 6 of Iraq's top military leaders have been assasinated in the last few weeks. They mentioned Brigadier General Muhammed was one of them. I remember chief mentioning him a few times, I remember how he said he was obsessed with mickey mouse. some Iraqi's are wierd like that when it comes to american culture. I guess his vehicles was driving somewhere in Baghdad when a car pulled up and nailed him with a silencer. I then heard something that freaked me out, al qaeda is taking reponsibility. You rarely hear of Al qaeda in Iraq anymore. if this is true they are scheming something bigtime. They are a relentless enemy, man its hard to fight people when they believe God is on their side. Their god is definitely not my god thats for sure. Most Muslims are decent people who I believe are misled in their teachings, radical Islam, however, needs to be met with force and fought whenever and wherever. They justify murder pure and simple.
I've been reading the stars and stripes almost every day. There are a lot of articles about world affairs that you dont't read about in the states, especially in dealing with the military. By reading this stuff, hearing about it hear, and seeing it, we are getting pushed prett damn hard, the military. To the limit? It's getting there, it's getting there....
anyways this gave me something to talk about, I just hope things don't get worse in Kabul before they get better. I just feel bad my cousin has 7 more years before he can retire.

4/27

It was a rough couple of days, I almost decided to quit writng on here, I was pretty down. It had looked like sergeants "right" and "jump-to" succeeded in my character assasination. My wife told me to pray on it, I did but not hard enough, so I prayed a lot more on it. Today some light shown through, it was definitely Jesus coming through like he always does. One minute i thought the world (actually several people) out here was against me and then today some people above me started seeing things the way they are supposed to be seen and not through rose-colored lenses. I now have people ranking above me that if we were to go home and questions arose, they would vouch for me, then the rest I can explain myself. I'm just amazed with the lord because just a few days ago I was just so deflated, he has a hand in everything always. Issues still could arise the next 9 days so it's not over yet. I'm under 39 days now. Now if the good lord could help some schools in the Gilbert School District call me for a phone interview I would be jumping through the roof. I only got about a two day window left, i guess i better start praying again.
Got a day off tomorrow, can't wait to sleep in, but most of all, just to be away from the chaos of the terminal for 24 hrs. Just wanted to note the guys I have under me, their attitudes have been great, definitely starting to get some cohesiveness, it's just the other things....

4/23

It's been stressfull the last few days, the weather has been ridiculous, sandstorms, wind, rain, it's wrecked havoc on our flight schedule, planes moving up, planes moving back, people that get put on missions from out of nowhere, it's been highly annoying and has put most of us on edge to where we are pretty short with each other. got yelled at again for someone screwing up when I wasn't around, gotta love being in a position of rank in the military, shoot I can definitely handle it being yelled at if I personally mess up but to get drilled because someone took people to the wrong gate off the plane then we can't find them for a long time, it makes me want to scream but of course I can't.
Got in my first serious argument with one of my subordinates, we're cool now but it got pretty heated. He was in charge of the baggage and him and the other baggage guy go to breakfast with no radio and no one to cover. The dispatch is trying to call for baggage with no answer as I am on the way to chow. Here's what i was talking about the other day, communication, and there's a breakdown already. I saw him there, confronted him in front of people he was sitting next to but I did not raise my voice, but he knew I was upset. Once I saw he knew he messed up , I walked away. He talked to me later with my assistant NCOIC in presence, saying I humiliated him. I asked "how, you messed up, I had to let you know, I didn't have time to wait for the right moment, I didn't raise my voice, and I've warned you twice before." He said I got within three inches of his face, maybe I did, I didn't even realize, I felt bad for that, I told him I was sorry. We then have this two minutes back and forth dialogue where he was majorly defensive. He kept talking back but he wasn't calling me names, Even though I was upset inside, I knew if I kept my course he would have no other avenues of escape. I couldn't believe he though it was ok to just....oh forget it I don't feel like writing all this out. he realized he was wrong, I apologized for invading his space, my final question to him was, "can I trust you to train at dispatch, can you handle it?" He said something that sounded like something a marine would say before going to battle, so I said that's all I needed to hear, and walked away. If I would've stayed it would've gotten out of hand but really, that's all I wanted to do, have him aknowledge his mistake, make sure he wasn't going to keep messing up, and then move on. We've been cool ever since, there just isn't time to hold grudges, shoot, we were even joking around again the next day. This sounds wierd but I actually was impressed by him not backing down to me, it showed me he was a quick thinker and had some toughness. It was an interesting exchange but one I hope I don't have to repeat with anyone.
We received a message from ATOC that they needed two empty baggage pallets at the Glasshouse. By the way, the glasshouse is where the higher ups work and where the famous people that come visit hang out at until their flight arrives. We get there, drop off the pallets and a truck comes up. He says that Admiral Mullen will not be needing this much baggage support. Did he just say Admiral Mullen, joint chiefs of staff Mullen? Wow, that is the third big-time official to come through here in two weeks. I had a feeling it would make the news and it was on the front page of the stars and stripes. He came to ask what Gates and Boehner asked before, "do you need our help past 2011?" Why can't the Iraqi's just give us a darn answer, many lives are at stakes here, as well as livlihoods of many families. I mentioned earlier about how our Chief has dealt with the Iraqi Air force and their resistance to change, as he put, "they just don't get it." Here's what I feel: Invading Iraq was a big mistake, it turned from a supposed War on Terror into a Nation building project which eventually got us in the middle of a power struggle between two Islamic sects that haven't liked each other since the 7th century. Once Saddam was gone it was like the leash was let go between two pit bulls, with the U.S. in the middle. But as much as I believe it was a mistake to come here, it would be a bigger mistake to leave and let the country fall. It would be worse then the vietnam war, definitely be one of the greatest failures in the history of the U.S. All the deaths, injuries and money would be in vain. Staying here beyond 2011 would be dangerous, the Shiite leader Sadr already said he would retaliate if we stay beyond December. I think thats why our leaders have been here the last three weeks because they don't want to see it go to hell in a handbasket once we leave.

4/20

Well, it's 5:10 and I have not been written up yet. I may be out of the clear. Yesterday I was going around with the fire department for our quarterly inspection between 10-11:15. It had been a slow morning so we did have some flights coming up but they seemed routine. I finished up and was working on a few issues that came up by email, I thought our crew had a hold of the issue. The, right when we are getting off I hear of a C-17 going to Bagram (very wierd, we never get planes going to Afghanistan, only Iraq and Saudi Arabia)where they people that got off, their bags are still on the plane and its about to take off. Damn! How did this happen? Before I know it we are taking the pax to the plane so they can i.d their bags, now we got to find them on the baggage pallet on the plane. It was a cluster, it took way too long, we all looked like idiots. my heads spinning, I really don't know how this happened, I was doing the fire drill. So I have the DO motion me to the break room, Oh great, I'm going to get cussed out. Yep, I was right I did. It was embarrassing and frustrating but I didn't say a word and let him vent, after awhile, I told him about the fire drill and he said, "well you better go find out from your people what the #$^%#$ happened!" So I brought the guilty parties together, after trying to have them explain it I said forget it, I'm not going to remember all this info, I'm just going to have them explain it to the DO. They did, the DO explained how he instructed us where the pax bags were located on the radio, so my 10 AT driver admitted he did not hear that. I spent the afternoon mulling over what went wrong and I discovered even though I was busy, I should have took the radio so I could hear how it developed, so I wasn't totally off the hook.
I discussed with them at shift brief a bunch of things I thought about during the afternoon, man if it isn't one thing it's another. Please lord, get me through just a little while longer without someone screwing something up. It's frustrating, just when you think you got a handle on the dynamics of our missions, there's a new twist. Hopefully my adjustments will work, but with the past crew, I would make adjustments and something in another area would pop up. It's now 5:43 and I still haven't been written up yet.....
I started watching an HBO series and I am so surprised how entertaining it is, it's called "Big Love", I know it sound like it could be something dirty but it is about the plights of a polygamist mormon family trying to keep their secret in Salt Lake City. Great acting, Bill Paxon, Chloe Sovenghy, and Jeanne Tripplehorn, great writing, lots of twists and turns, witty, funny. I've watched it the last two days and got hooked. No I don't believe in polygamy, and I do not believe in the doctrine of the LDS religion, but "Big Love" really takes me away from reality for an hour at a time. But I will need to start on the next section of my SEI-45 class by tomorrow. It's 5:51, I may get out unscathed

4/18

A very stressful morning. I am scrambling to get my assignment for my SEI-45 class completed by 10am. Meanwhile we are processing three flights at the same time, I must have gotten interupted about 30 times. I finally get the assignment finished and I then noticed it isn't due for another two days and I then read the instructions and realized that by missing the word "and" with the term "listening and speaking", it completely changes what lessons I do. I did lessons for "listening" and did lessons for "speaking" but not for "listening and speaking." Totally different. Hopefully the instructor will give me a 2. I don't feel like doing it over. I am mentally drained now, tired from getting up almost 4 hours early to do clicker duty. I've got to find a way to do my plyo workout for P90 because I really just want to jump in my rack right now!!

4/17

We had a bunch of congressmen leaving on the plane today. It was funny, I looked at the manifest and looked at the names and I saw a John Boehner. I thought, that looks like the name of the speaker of the house, i double-checked on google to make sure his first name was John and it is. Wow, that was cool. I then looked at an article about him I clicked it on and it is a news article about how he was out here
http://www.cnn.com/2011/WORLD/meast/04/16/iraq.boehner.visit/
Basically he was out here asking the Prime minister point blank, "Does your country need our help after Dec. 31st?" Thank god the prime minister said no. They wanted a PAX rep out at the plane so I volunteered. I was hoping maybe get close enough to shake his hand get a picture. Well, I got about 10 yds away, he initially did a photo shoot next to some helos, it was funny he actually had some IBA on. He then walked off to the Glass house, then came back out 20 minutes later, he had a lot of people next to him, no such luck to talk to him. We did have to build up their baggage pallet, he had about 5 bags with his name on them. It was cool. I do like him in that he doesn't take garbage from anyone, kindof a tough guy, but he is a little too conservative for my tastes when it comes to reform of any kind. But his general makeup, he breaks the spoiled, pompous, politician mold.
I have the dreaded clickers tonight, 2000-2300. I'm getting tired just thinking of it. Worse off is I have an assignment for SEI-45 due tomorrow and I'm a little stumped on how to do it. Luckily it is a class where we get grade a 1,2, or 3. 2, or 3 are fine, if you get a 1 she will send it back with suggestions for revision. so i can at least give it a shot and know I can still fix it. I shouldn't let it stress me out but I naturally do that when it comes to school. I went drama-free for like three days and then it started up last night. I should know better that that is the pattern and it's not changin, I mean I told you guys the pattern about 7 weeks ago didn't I?
Oh well, the sun will definitely rise, life will go on, and six weeks from now this will all be ancient history

Dusty, dirty!

About two hours ago, I'm walking to my CHU I stop and realize, It's sunny! It's sunny! I must be losing it, I was walking to chow an hour earlier, why did I just notice now? And what is the big deal about sunny weather? Well, we had a huge dust storm last night. It was disgusting, it was everywhere, we had to wear masks, it was pretty ridiculous as you can see in the pictures. I don't know, the dust is different here,is it sand or dust? All I know is it was a pain in the butt. I had another moment where I got to say, "sign him up." It had to do with him not having a "clear to fly stamp" on his LOA. We use to be able to clear contractors to fly but now higher powers that be thinks we need a specialist to do this. It's a joke, they don't check anything more then what we did, check passport, LOA, passport information matches on LOA bamb! Anyways this guys had to wait till 7am for the specialist to come in and his flight was landing in 30 minutes. I could've easily said, no cutting it too close but I took a chance. it worked, we weren't late and we got a guy on his way home, mission accomplished. But this whole thing with having to hire a contractor to do our job, it's wasting taxpayers money. it drives me crazy, maybe I don't see numbers that higher ranks see but it just keep adding up and up and up. We're renting out our dam X-ray machine for like 9 grand a month so we get the maintnence, just buy the thing for 100k.

I mean, I'm not losing sleep over it but our economy is in bad enough shape as it is. It's frustrating, I'm looking at the school district websites back home and there are no high school history jobs at all, I want to teach high shcool, not another year of 8th grade. But that's our economy for ya, and I would rather teach 8th grade then be unemployed. When I see in my opinion inneficient use of government money, it all seems to come around in circles.

I rarely watch t.v out here, but the AFN is getting on my last nerve with their public announcements. They don't have commercials just these do this, and do that commercials. I saw two back to back at the gym, one on not skipping meals at lunchtime so you don't bing eat and the other was always wear safety equipment when playing competitive sports. They make like real commercials, complete with actors and special effects. I never thought i'd say this but because I have always hated commercials since I was a kid but I can't wait till when I don't have to lay my eyes on an Air force infomercial again

4/11

If your interested in working as an overseas contractor, pay attention, I now have a connection here! Honeywell is a big employer over here and is about to finalize a huge contract in Afghanistan. Go to Honeywell.com click create a profile, post your resume,send me a copy of it and your cell number I will give it to a guy named Devon Joiner, he just started working here, he is our contractor coordinator, he makes sure the contractors are cleared to fly on our planes, cool Kat. He gets boneuses for recruiting guys and gals over here. They will train you to do the job, no real experience needed, tons of different types of jobs. i have told you about the overstocking of contractors over here, that are eventually sapping tax money because the government gives these companies their money. It may seem like I'm being a hypocrite, but I view it like this: Just because i don't refer people to jobs is in no way going to stop them from what they are doing. They are not going anywhere and they will get people in these positions, so why not get my friend or family. The money and benefits are incredible but you just have to go through what i've gone through the last two months so if you can handle that, it's a great opportunity. Let me know

Got a great boost today, three care boxes from Champs Salon. It was outstanding!! Good jerkey, protein bars, trail mix, cookies, more cookies, of course sprees, crackers, pistachios, double oreos. I just can't say enough how cool it was. A ton of stuff, I'll only be able to eat so much, the guys will love it, shawna was already frothing at the site of the oreos. So you might be saying Champs salon, where's that? I use to work there, seriously. For some that don't know yes I use to cut hair, wierd huh? It seems kindof strange now but it was part of who I use to be, from 1992-2006 full time. Got in through family connections, my uncle robert owned a few salons in Flagstaff. To this day Champs is one of the best places I worked, and Don is by far the best boss I ever had. I just never made that much money, nobody's fault except my own. Cutting hair is a wierd gig, it's like the world of acting. You have a lot of actors and actreses, many are good, but it doesn't mean your making a lot of money. Only the truelly elite in acting are making the big bucks, same is true with hair. I peaked in 1997, I made then what I do today as a teacher. But I self-employed so I spent money into my business and of course I blew a lot having fun, didn't save very well. I had to switch locations twice in an 18 month period, bdestroyed my clientelle, I came to champs in 2000, built it up but never to the point it used to be. I used to think early on I could be the next great thing, but deep down I know I was fooling myself, I just wasn't fully into the mental makeup of being in that business. I honestly did not love it, i got in as a business move. Part of being an elite hairstylist is you have to be an entertainer, like a talk show host. Everything you say has to be perfect timing and perfect meaning. Funny, you would think it would all be technique and skill. I would watch my champs co-worker J.T. and just marvel at how everything she said came out perfectly timed, worded, voice fluctuation. she would never miss a beat, and she could change the tone from person to person, from business worker, to college student, to trailer park central. haha I thought, she's got IT. That's what I loved about Champs, everybody there had IT! I did not, but I was perfectly comfortable with that, which is why I was going to school all the time. Honestly,I didn't really like talking to my customers, I did because I had to, but I used to love to cut hair and daydream without saying a work. It's funny how I could do that and have my work come out the way the customer wanted it. anyways, I had great times at Champs, with the exception of always trying to get ahead, It was a very stressfree job, lots of laughs, great christmas parties, and it's great they still think of me over there. Thanks Champs!

April 10

I guess the budget is going to get balance after all. Thank god, that was a real wierd deal. Boring night, no flights, I guess maybe from the aftermath of intel we were supposed to be attacked. Never did happen thank god, supposedly another "day of" something. Trying to get motivated to work on my class, I gotta focus and take advantage of this time and do it

April 8

Lots of thoughts today, we'll it is my day off I have time to think. Ya I remember I told you I wouldn't bring up the drama again within the aerial port but this will be brief. Remember I told you about the term "psychological warfare?" Well, this week it has to taken a toll. I have gotten to a point where I get knots in my stomach before shift and dwell on things about work long after the shift is over. I have prayed and tried to read the bible more but I can't help at times being bitter and angry at people. I found out people were talking about me behind my back but when sergeant "vulcan" brought it up, he wouldn't say what it was or who said it, just that there were "rumblings" as he put it last week and "issues" this week. He didn't have to say who it was because I could put two and two together when I saw Sergeants "right" and "jump-to" talking in length for 20 minutes before the shift started. He did say that he felt the things these people were sayng were a non-issue so that is good. He's right, they aren't issues, only to some people that have a neurotic attention to detail, like saying when mixing ingrediants to bake a cake, you should stir clockwise instead of counter clockwise. I sometimes take things very hard, but I have to keep telling myself, "there are no real issues", and that for the circumstances I'm doing a very good job. Those circumstances are, for never being previously deployed, for having a month less time then the original March people that came in December, for being prior service Navy instead of coming from Air Force active duty, and yes for being 43 and on a deployment! haha They should feel fortunate that almost all the the March people here were previously deployed in Bagram in 2009, they will not be so lucky the next deployment because there will be a lot of newbies. But on the flip side I'm really liking these new guys, and shawna and clark have been lights out helping me out. I read a quote in the sports page that sums up these "allegations" for me. It has to do with the NBA, where members of the detroit pistons purposely didn't show up for practice, complaining about the coach. Many of these players have had reputations in the past of being primadonna's. when asked about the allegations from the players, he simply said, "sometimes perception is different then reality." It's a funny quote but true. I long as my superiors know what's reality I'll be ok.
I can't believe the budget isn't going to be balanced, I check my pay and its less then half what it is. i hear they will reimburse us when they get it balanced but it scares me for the future. I 'm scare of the messy world chelsea and Jenna are going to have to live in when they are adults. Who knows, we may just turn into a third world country if we don't drastically change and make sacrifices as a country financially for the next few years. That's why I want the girls to have as much fun now, it's very important. Gina got Jenna and Chelsea into soccor, they are so excited. I wish so much I could have seen their first practice. I just try to imagine how it was like based on what gina is telling me. Her and the girls are sending an easter basket, I can't wait but I really should stay away from the sweets. The DFAC makes the best sweets, pies, cakes, cookies, they're very swet, literally. I've been able to eat great with the exception of the sweets. Still, I got a nice ego boost today. I took out my jeans I wore in virginia and put them on. I started laughing, they barely clung to my waste, they are so flippn loose, oh my gosh that's awsome. "P90X, I hate it.....but I love it!"