4/30

Real boring day at work, dragging pretty bad, three hours to go. The shooting deaths of 8 air force servicemen in Kabul has weighed on me. For one, because my cousin chris is stationed there and he trains Afghans in Secuirty Forces stuff, and another, is, who can you trust? This afghan who did this, he was a pilot in their air force, we trusted him. I heard from my Aunt that Chris knew two of the guys that were killed, they were in the office accross from him. I also found out that two were stationed at Luke Air force Base. It's sad and it really ticks you off at the people we are trying to help. Then I look around and we have people everywhere carrying weapons. The mission is different here, at least at Sather. We don't really see Iraqi military walking around, they are mostly at area IV their special ops section, which is disconnected from Sather by about 1 mile. The foreign nationals we see are the Ugandan guards and the laborers from Pakistan/India. So it is a different mission here, but you can't help but think about it a little, still you can't dwell on it for too long because it weighs on you. I signed up a Captain and asked him about how many deployments he's been on and he said 5, that's crazy. I asked if when he had to drive to different bases I asked if he thought he felt safer, and he said sometimes. "other times," he said, "it feels like they are trying to funnel us into a trap." He expressed how he's pretty dissapointed we haven't come further along in our progress. But he says, "you can't fight against their culture." Not surprised. I need to ask these guys more often what their opinions are on the state of affairs here, alot of times we just go through the motions of doing our jobs, we see the people behind the uniform and think too much of our own lives and problems, but I'm sure there are interesting stories out there.
Speaking of foreign nationals, we have had to learn this training on screening them when they get off the flight. This is wierd, because you would think if they were on a flight, they would be screened. But now they are looking for items that they can use to acquire information, cameras, usb memory devices. If we find them we have to confiscate them, which stinks, because there are going to be some upset people. Thank god they don't have weapons and SF personnel should be there to help us. Another thing to stress out about....
I asked Chief about why we all of the sudden have to screen them and he said that there will be many more coming in to replace the departing troops. He was having a side conversation with some of the SF's when I started listening in. Seems like 6 of Iraq's top military leaders have been assasinated in the last few weeks. They mentioned Brigadier General Muhammed was one of them. I remember chief mentioning him a few times, I remember how he said he was obsessed with mickey mouse. some Iraqi's are wierd like that when it comes to american culture. I guess his vehicles was driving somewhere in Baghdad when a car pulled up and nailed him with a silencer. I then heard something that freaked me out, al qaeda is taking reponsibility. You rarely hear of Al qaeda in Iraq anymore. if this is true they are scheming something bigtime. They are a relentless enemy, man its hard to fight people when they believe God is on their side. Their god is definitely not my god thats for sure. Most Muslims are decent people who I believe are misled in their teachings, radical Islam, however, needs to be met with force and fought whenever and wherever. They justify murder pure and simple.
I've been reading the stars and stripes almost every day. There are a lot of articles about world affairs that you dont't read about in the states, especially in dealing with the military. By reading this stuff, hearing about it hear, and seeing it, we are getting pushed prett damn hard, the military. To the limit? It's getting there, it's getting there....
anyways this gave me something to talk about, I just hope things don't get worse in Kabul before they get better. I just feel bad my cousin has 7 more years before he can retire.

4/27

It was a rough couple of days, I almost decided to quit writng on here, I was pretty down. It had looked like sergeants "right" and "jump-to" succeeded in my character assasination. My wife told me to pray on it, I did but not hard enough, so I prayed a lot more on it. Today some light shown through, it was definitely Jesus coming through like he always does. One minute i thought the world (actually several people) out here was against me and then today some people above me started seeing things the way they are supposed to be seen and not through rose-colored lenses. I now have people ranking above me that if we were to go home and questions arose, they would vouch for me, then the rest I can explain myself. I'm just amazed with the lord because just a few days ago I was just so deflated, he has a hand in everything always. Issues still could arise the next 9 days so it's not over yet. I'm under 39 days now. Now if the good lord could help some schools in the Gilbert School District call me for a phone interview I would be jumping through the roof. I only got about a two day window left, i guess i better start praying again.
Got a day off tomorrow, can't wait to sleep in, but most of all, just to be away from the chaos of the terminal for 24 hrs. Just wanted to note the guys I have under me, their attitudes have been great, definitely starting to get some cohesiveness, it's just the other things....

4/23

It's been stressfull the last few days, the weather has been ridiculous, sandstorms, wind, rain, it's wrecked havoc on our flight schedule, planes moving up, planes moving back, people that get put on missions from out of nowhere, it's been highly annoying and has put most of us on edge to where we are pretty short with each other. got yelled at again for someone screwing up when I wasn't around, gotta love being in a position of rank in the military, shoot I can definitely handle it being yelled at if I personally mess up but to get drilled because someone took people to the wrong gate off the plane then we can't find them for a long time, it makes me want to scream but of course I can't.
Got in my first serious argument with one of my subordinates, we're cool now but it got pretty heated. He was in charge of the baggage and him and the other baggage guy go to breakfast with no radio and no one to cover. The dispatch is trying to call for baggage with no answer as I am on the way to chow. Here's what i was talking about the other day, communication, and there's a breakdown already. I saw him there, confronted him in front of people he was sitting next to but I did not raise my voice, but he knew I was upset. Once I saw he knew he messed up , I walked away. He talked to me later with my assistant NCOIC in presence, saying I humiliated him. I asked "how, you messed up, I had to let you know, I didn't have time to wait for the right moment, I didn't raise my voice, and I've warned you twice before." He said I got within three inches of his face, maybe I did, I didn't even realize, I felt bad for that, I told him I was sorry. We then have this two minutes back and forth dialogue where he was majorly defensive. He kept talking back but he wasn't calling me names, Even though I was upset inside, I knew if I kept my course he would have no other avenues of escape. I couldn't believe he though it was ok to just....oh forget it I don't feel like writing all this out. he realized he was wrong, I apologized for invading his space, my final question to him was, "can I trust you to train at dispatch, can you handle it?" He said something that sounded like something a marine would say before going to battle, so I said that's all I needed to hear, and walked away. If I would've stayed it would've gotten out of hand but really, that's all I wanted to do, have him aknowledge his mistake, make sure he wasn't going to keep messing up, and then move on. We've been cool ever since, there just isn't time to hold grudges, shoot, we were even joking around again the next day. This sounds wierd but I actually was impressed by him not backing down to me, it showed me he was a quick thinker and had some toughness. It was an interesting exchange but one I hope I don't have to repeat with anyone.
We received a message from ATOC that they needed two empty baggage pallets at the Glasshouse. By the way, the glasshouse is where the higher ups work and where the famous people that come visit hang out at until their flight arrives. We get there, drop off the pallets and a truck comes up. He says that Admiral Mullen will not be needing this much baggage support. Did he just say Admiral Mullen, joint chiefs of staff Mullen? Wow, that is the third big-time official to come through here in two weeks. I had a feeling it would make the news and it was on the front page of the stars and stripes. He came to ask what Gates and Boehner asked before, "do you need our help past 2011?" Why can't the Iraqi's just give us a darn answer, many lives are at stakes here, as well as livlihoods of many families. I mentioned earlier about how our Chief has dealt with the Iraqi Air force and their resistance to change, as he put, "they just don't get it." Here's what I feel: Invading Iraq was a big mistake, it turned from a supposed War on Terror into a Nation building project which eventually got us in the middle of a power struggle between two Islamic sects that haven't liked each other since the 7th century. Once Saddam was gone it was like the leash was let go between two pit bulls, with the U.S. in the middle. But as much as I believe it was a mistake to come here, it would be a bigger mistake to leave and let the country fall. It would be worse then the vietnam war, definitely be one of the greatest failures in the history of the U.S. All the deaths, injuries and money would be in vain. Staying here beyond 2011 would be dangerous, the Shiite leader Sadr already said he would retaliate if we stay beyond December. I think thats why our leaders have been here the last three weeks because they don't want to see it go to hell in a handbasket once we leave.

4/20

Well, it's 5:10 and I have not been written up yet. I may be out of the clear. Yesterday I was going around with the fire department for our quarterly inspection between 10-11:15. It had been a slow morning so we did have some flights coming up but they seemed routine. I finished up and was working on a few issues that came up by email, I thought our crew had a hold of the issue. The, right when we are getting off I hear of a C-17 going to Bagram (very wierd, we never get planes going to Afghanistan, only Iraq and Saudi Arabia)where they people that got off, their bags are still on the plane and its about to take off. Damn! How did this happen? Before I know it we are taking the pax to the plane so they can i.d their bags, now we got to find them on the baggage pallet on the plane. It was a cluster, it took way too long, we all looked like idiots. my heads spinning, I really don't know how this happened, I was doing the fire drill. So I have the DO motion me to the break room, Oh great, I'm going to get cussed out. Yep, I was right I did. It was embarrassing and frustrating but I didn't say a word and let him vent, after awhile, I told him about the fire drill and he said, "well you better go find out from your people what the #$^%#$ happened!" So I brought the guilty parties together, after trying to have them explain it I said forget it, I'm not going to remember all this info, I'm just going to have them explain it to the DO. They did, the DO explained how he instructed us where the pax bags were located on the radio, so my 10 AT driver admitted he did not hear that. I spent the afternoon mulling over what went wrong and I discovered even though I was busy, I should have took the radio so I could hear how it developed, so I wasn't totally off the hook.
I discussed with them at shift brief a bunch of things I thought about during the afternoon, man if it isn't one thing it's another. Please lord, get me through just a little while longer without someone screwing something up. It's frustrating, just when you think you got a handle on the dynamics of our missions, there's a new twist. Hopefully my adjustments will work, but with the past crew, I would make adjustments and something in another area would pop up. It's now 5:43 and I still haven't been written up yet.....
I started watching an HBO series and I am so surprised how entertaining it is, it's called "Big Love", I know it sound like it could be something dirty but it is about the plights of a polygamist mormon family trying to keep their secret in Salt Lake City. Great acting, Bill Paxon, Chloe Sovenghy, and Jeanne Tripplehorn, great writing, lots of twists and turns, witty, funny. I've watched it the last two days and got hooked. No I don't believe in polygamy, and I do not believe in the doctrine of the LDS religion, but "Big Love" really takes me away from reality for an hour at a time. But I will need to start on the next section of my SEI-45 class by tomorrow. It's 5:51, I may get out unscathed

4/18

A very stressful morning. I am scrambling to get my assignment for my SEI-45 class completed by 10am. Meanwhile we are processing three flights at the same time, I must have gotten interupted about 30 times. I finally get the assignment finished and I then noticed it isn't due for another two days and I then read the instructions and realized that by missing the word "and" with the term "listening and speaking", it completely changes what lessons I do. I did lessons for "listening" and did lessons for "speaking" but not for "listening and speaking." Totally different. Hopefully the instructor will give me a 2. I don't feel like doing it over. I am mentally drained now, tired from getting up almost 4 hours early to do clicker duty. I've got to find a way to do my plyo workout for P90 because I really just want to jump in my rack right now!!

4/17

We had a bunch of congressmen leaving on the plane today. It was funny, I looked at the manifest and looked at the names and I saw a John Boehner. I thought, that looks like the name of the speaker of the house, i double-checked on google to make sure his first name was John and it is. Wow, that was cool. I then looked at an article about him I clicked it on and it is a news article about how he was out here
http://www.cnn.com/2011/WORLD/meast/04/16/iraq.boehner.visit/
Basically he was out here asking the Prime minister point blank, "Does your country need our help after Dec. 31st?" Thank god the prime minister said no. They wanted a PAX rep out at the plane so I volunteered. I was hoping maybe get close enough to shake his hand get a picture. Well, I got about 10 yds away, he initially did a photo shoot next to some helos, it was funny he actually had some IBA on. He then walked off to the Glass house, then came back out 20 minutes later, he had a lot of people next to him, no such luck to talk to him. We did have to build up their baggage pallet, he had about 5 bags with his name on them. It was cool. I do like him in that he doesn't take garbage from anyone, kindof a tough guy, but he is a little too conservative for my tastes when it comes to reform of any kind. But his general makeup, he breaks the spoiled, pompous, politician mold.
I have the dreaded clickers tonight, 2000-2300. I'm getting tired just thinking of it. Worse off is I have an assignment for SEI-45 due tomorrow and I'm a little stumped on how to do it. Luckily it is a class where we get grade a 1,2, or 3. 2, or 3 are fine, if you get a 1 she will send it back with suggestions for revision. so i can at least give it a shot and know I can still fix it. I shouldn't let it stress me out but I naturally do that when it comes to school. I went drama-free for like three days and then it started up last night. I should know better that that is the pattern and it's not changin, I mean I told you guys the pattern about 7 weeks ago didn't I?
Oh well, the sun will definitely rise, life will go on, and six weeks from now this will all be ancient history

Dusty, dirty!

About two hours ago, I'm walking to my CHU I stop and realize, It's sunny! It's sunny! I must be losing it, I was walking to chow an hour earlier, why did I just notice now? And what is the big deal about sunny weather? Well, we had a huge dust storm last night. It was disgusting, it was everywhere, we had to wear masks, it was pretty ridiculous as you can see in the pictures. I don't know, the dust is different here,is it sand or dust? All I know is it was a pain in the butt. I had another moment where I got to say, "sign him up." It had to do with him not having a "clear to fly stamp" on his LOA. We use to be able to clear contractors to fly but now higher powers that be thinks we need a specialist to do this. It's a joke, they don't check anything more then what we did, check passport, LOA, passport information matches on LOA bamb! Anyways this guys had to wait till 7am for the specialist to come in and his flight was landing in 30 minutes. I could've easily said, no cutting it too close but I took a chance. it worked, we weren't late and we got a guy on his way home, mission accomplished. But this whole thing with having to hire a contractor to do our job, it's wasting taxpayers money. it drives me crazy, maybe I don't see numbers that higher ranks see but it just keep adding up and up and up. We're renting out our dam X-ray machine for like 9 grand a month so we get the maintnence, just buy the thing for 100k.

I mean, I'm not losing sleep over it but our economy is in bad enough shape as it is. It's frustrating, I'm looking at the school district websites back home and there are no high school history jobs at all, I want to teach high shcool, not another year of 8th grade. But that's our economy for ya, and I would rather teach 8th grade then be unemployed. When I see in my opinion inneficient use of government money, it all seems to come around in circles.

I rarely watch t.v out here, but the AFN is getting on my last nerve with their public announcements. They don't have commercials just these do this, and do that commercials. I saw two back to back at the gym, one on not skipping meals at lunchtime so you don't bing eat and the other was always wear safety equipment when playing competitive sports. They make like real commercials, complete with actors and special effects. I never thought i'd say this but because I have always hated commercials since I was a kid but I can't wait till when I don't have to lay my eyes on an Air force infomercial again

4/11

If your interested in working as an overseas contractor, pay attention, I now have a connection here! Honeywell is a big employer over here and is about to finalize a huge contract in Afghanistan. Go to Honeywell.com click create a profile, post your resume,send me a copy of it and your cell number I will give it to a guy named Devon Joiner, he just started working here, he is our contractor coordinator, he makes sure the contractors are cleared to fly on our planes, cool Kat. He gets boneuses for recruiting guys and gals over here. They will train you to do the job, no real experience needed, tons of different types of jobs. i have told you about the overstocking of contractors over here, that are eventually sapping tax money because the government gives these companies their money. It may seem like I'm being a hypocrite, but I view it like this: Just because i don't refer people to jobs is in no way going to stop them from what they are doing. They are not going anywhere and they will get people in these positions, so why not get my friend or family. The money and benefits are incredible but you just have to go through what i've gone through the last two months so if you can handle that, it's a great opportunity. Let me know

Got a great boost today, three care boxes from Champs Salon. It was outstanding!! Good jerkey, protein bars, trail mix, cookies, more cookies, of course sprees, crackers, pistachios, double oreos. I just can't say enough how cool it was. A ton of stuff, I'll only be able to eat so much, the guys will love it, shawna was already frothing at the site of the oreos. So you might be saying Champs salon, where's that? I use to work there, seriously. For some that don't know yes I use to cut hair, wierd huh? It seems kindof strange now but it was part of who I use to be, from 1992-2006 full time. Got in through family connections, my uncle robert owned a few salons in Flagstaff. To this day Champs is one of the best places I worked, and Don is by far the best boss I ever had. I just never made that much money, nobody's fault except my own. Cutting hair is a wierd gig, it's like the world of acting. You have a lot of actors and actreses, many are good, but it doesn't mean your making a lot of money. Only the truelly elite in acting are making the big bucks, same is true with hair. I peaked in 1997, I made then what I do today as a teacher. But I self-employed so I spent money into my business and of course I blew a lot having fun, didn't save very well. I had to switch locations twice in an 18 month period, bdestroyed my clientelle, I came to champs in 2000, built it up but never to the point it used to be. I used to think early on I could be the next great thing, but deep down I know I was fooling myself, I just wasn't fully into the mental makeup of being in that business. I honestly did not love it, i got in as a business move. Part of being an elite hairstylist is you have to be an entertainer, like a talk show host. Everything you say has to be perfect timing and perfect meaning. Funny, you would think it would all be technique and skill. I would watch my champs co-worker J.T. and just marvel at how everything she said came out perfectly timed, worded, voice fluctuation. she would never miss a beat, and she could change the tone from person to person, from business worker, to college student, to trailer park central. haha I thought, she's got IT. That's what I loved about Champs, everybody there had IT! I did not, but I was perfectly comfortable with that, which is why I was going to school all the time. Honestly,I didn't really like talking to my customers, I did because I had to, but I used to love to cut hair and daydream without saying a work. It's funny how I could do that and have my work come out the way the customer wanted it. anyways, I had great times at Champs, with the exception of always trying to get ahead, It was a very stressfree job, lots of laughs, great christmas parties, and it's great they still think of me over there. Thanks Champs!

April 10

I guess the budget is going to get balance after all. Thank god, that was a real wierd deal. Boring night, no flights, I guess maybe from the aftermath of intel we were supposed to be attacked. Never did happen thank god, supposedly another "day of" something. Trying to get motivated to work on my class, I gotta focus and take advantage of this time and do it

April 8

Lots of thoughts today, we'll it is my day off I have time to think. Ya I remember I told you I wouldn't bring up the drama again within the aerial port but this will be brief. Remember I told you about the term "psychological warfare?" Well, this week it has to taken a toll. I have gotten to a point where I get knots in my stomach before shift and dwell on things about work long after the shift is over. I have prayed and tried to read the bible more but I can't help at times being bitter and angry at people. I found out people were talking about me behind my back but when sergeant "vulcan" brought it up, he wouldn't say what it was or who said it, just that there were "rumblings" as he put it last week and "issues" this week. He didn't have to say who it was because I could put two and two together when I saw Sergeants "right" and "jump-to" talking in length for 20 minutes before the shift started. He did say that he felt the things these people were sayng were a non-issue so that is good. He's right, they aren't issues, only to some people that have a neurotic attention to detail, like saying when mixing ingrediants to bake a cake, you should stir clockwise instead of counter clockwise. I sometimes take things very hard, but I have to keep telling myself, "there are no real issues", and that for the circumstances I'm doing a very good job. Those circumstances are, for never being previously deployed, for having a month less time then the original March people that came in December, for being prior service Navy instead of coming from Air Force active duty, and yes for being 43 and on a deployment! haha They should feel fortunate that almost all the the March people here were previously deployed in Bagram in 2009, they will not be so lucky the next deployment because there will be a lot of newbies. But on the flip side I'm really liking these new guys, and shawna and clark have been lights out helping me out. I read a quote in the sports page that sums up these "allegations" for me. It has to do with the NBA, where members of the detroit pistons purposely didn't show up for practice, complaining about the coach. Many of these players have had reputations in the past of being primadonna's. when asked about the allegations from the players, he simply said, "sometimes perception is different then reality." It's a funny quote but true. I long as my superiors know what's reality I'll be ok.
I can't believe the budget isn't going to be balanced, I check my pay and its less then half what it is. i hear they will reimburse us when they get it balanced but it scares me for the future. I 'm scare of the messy world chelsea and Jenna are going to have to live in when they are adults. Who knows, we may just turn into a third world country if we don't drastically change and make sacrifices as a country financially for the next few years. That's why I want the girls to have as much fun now, it's very important. Gina got Jenna and Chelsea into soccor, they are so excited. I wish so much I could have seen their first practice. I just try to imagine how it was like based on what gina is telling me. Her and the girls are sending an easter basket, I can't wait but I really should stay away from the sweets. The DFAC makes the best sweets, pies, cakes, cookies, they're very swet, literally. I've been able to eat great with the exception of the sweets. Still, I got a nice ego boost today. I took out my jeans I wore in virginia and put them on. I started laughing, they barely clung to my waste, they are so flippn loose, oh my gosh that's awsome. "P90X, I hate it.....but I love it!"

April 4th

I have noticed a lot of new people around base the last few days. I didn’t even realize many people had left. Sometimes you do see familiar faces go through the X-ray but then they come back. Funny to think this constant turnover has been never-ending here for the last seven years. There is a security forces sergeant, female. Not trying to be mean but she is very overweight-almost to the point of morbidly obese. I simply cannot believe that she was allowed to deploy being that overweight. I know there must be many other people that think that. Especially with her being security forces, how is she going to move if we get attacked? Things that make you go hmmmmmm? Remember that cheesy song from C&C music factory?
It’s crazy how logistics works over here, it’s not very efficient in term of cost-effectiveness but with our efforts needed in both Iraq and Afghanistan, it’s tricky. For example, our outgoing McGuire guys (the problem child’s) were officially finished with duty on Friday, yet their plane doesn’t leave until this Thursday and they do not leave Al Udeid until Saturday. That’s eight days these guys get paid to basically do nothing. About roughly $600 a guy times 24 you do the math. Can this be prevented, I don’t think so. Our planes are being taxed to the limit, going all over the place. I just think, “a little here, a little there” it all adds up. A lot of taxpayer money. At least Gates said we wouldn’t send troops to Libya “on his watch.” Hope his “watch” has the correct time!
Started my online course, it’s going to keep me pretty busy during my shift which is good, better to knock it out over here so I can relax when I return. I might not be able to write in here much, we’ll see.
I saw a group of Army guys go through the X-ray, they looked dirty, beat up and tired. I wonder what mission they had to endure?

April 2nd

Some thoughts and observations the last few days:
* I'm not sure I'm going to try to sneak pictures on the flightline anymore. I guess we had a C-130 getting ready to take off and a passenger sneaked a picture. amazingly a security forces person saw it, they all rushed the plane right when it was about to take off. They asked who took it, noone fessed up, so they were going to check everyones bags and cameras. Crazy! I don't know what happened but they just said over the radio they had it taken care of. I still can't believe they were able to spot it.

* I met the new guys and we've been training them up, well me Mohr, Clark are. The rest of the outgoing guys, much like I expected, did a half-ass job training them. The Gate even forgot to peek in the DV lounge for the DV until the PAX were on the plane. How pathetic! We have like two three flights in 12 hrs and you can't do your job correctly? Their version of training is to wait for the new guys to ask questions, then answer them. With training your supposed to discuss possible scenarios, stuff like that. The outgoing guys are no longer working for us, I voluntold three of them to a work detail starting Monday to help the Chief out with other sections doing the drawdown. "How coincidental",one of the Freight NCOIC's told me, "that the three biggest troublemakers you volunteered for the detail!" Ya, what a coincidence!! hahaha


So the outgoing guys aren't catching a flight out until April 6th. It's very dissapointing, the uncaring attitude, the minset of settling for "just average." It kindof diminishes my personal feelings for them, which were I liked all of them. It's wierd, I guess it's almost like a divorce, I kindof feel like a failure. I mean, I really thought I could change them, and like a divorce, you do remember the good times, but's it's the recent events that drown out the rest. Some of them will straighten up down the road, some it will be many years, bad choices later.
The new guys average age is higher and we have three NCO's. I sat down with each one of them and went down my list. It was like when I read to the class my syllabus at the beginning of the year. I think they get that there is no messing around over here, even if it is slow. We shall see!


* I am still doing the P90X. I am amazed at how I can do the excersizes very well now. If you have never done these workout you might view this part of the blog as boring, but watching the videos time and time again, you almost feel like the head guy Tony Horton is your best friend. He is pretty hilarious at times with his witty dialogue, ie "towel-boy", "tip of the day: don't smash your face", and of course his Pteradactil imitation. After awhile you know all his quips, he is pretty hilarious. So I google to see how old Tony is today (in the workouts he's 45 looks like 20; now he's 52) and I find this link, a blog of people bagging on all of his funny and sometimes stupid comments. I laughed my butt off, it was killing me, all of the little things he does and says that make you temporarily scratch your head during the videos are on hear. Here is the link,
http://nachosrule.blogspot.com/2008/07/p90x-best-quotes-and-moments.html
If you have never done P90X workouts you won't get it so don't bother, but after reading it, there is definitely a fraternity of people who have done the workouts. It was good to laugh, nothing else here really does.
* I am FINALLy......FINALLY to my half-way point. But at least now I have a tiny sliver of light creaking through the door. I can actually count down now, envision at the top of the hillslowly starting to go down. The rest of the March people have only 30 now, I can only imagined. Jenna cried again for me, poor thing. Very frustrating, but she's an emotional rollercoaster when I am there, so she will be happy a minute later. One deployment per lifetime is enough. I swear I better not hear any ultra-hyped dialogue from the commander when I get back about "we're the best, I'm gonna keep putting our unit to fill these deployments, we gotta be ready." Nope, not happening on my watch, not going to put the family through that again. Plenty of other guys in the unit who have not been on a deployment. sorry if that doesn't sound patriotic to some but it's my life