March 18

I'm coming on shift and my stomach still feels funny from the hamburger I ate at the St. Patty Day barbecue we had at the ATOC (air terminal operations center) for the entire terminal. I give it an A for effort, people really tried hard to spruce up the party but a D in food quality. Once again it wasn't barbecued, they just got it from the DFAC. They should've just called it a fatburger, if I wasn't so hungry I would've stopped eating it. No lettuce, tomato, onion, or cheese, just the meat bun mayo and mustard. The chicken was all thigh meat, the peanut butter cookie was good. I didn't want to stay long, I had things to do. Most people just stayed huddled with the groups they work with. No worrys, not too worried about my social status within the unit, some people do care about that, which is pretty funny. I just saw Christian shotgun a near-beer, insane...
Speaking of Christian, he was 25 inutes late. Due to several people being late the last two weeks I instituted a new rule where if a person is late, an on-call person has to come in early, so if you cared for your co-workers, you definitely would not want to be late. I was walking to work earlier and I was thinking, "I gotta feeling someone is going to be late." So of course it's Christian. The only person on call is sergeant Wright, who I have a real good relationship with. This stinks! Wright did nothing wrong (rhymes)but if I let this slide, I will lose all credibility. So he calls and I have to tell him the bad news, of course he's quiet on the other line. I tell him I'm sure there are things he can find Christian to do, sorry, but I have to follow through on what I had emailed to the crew, that being late will not be tolerated. He came in. I go eat, come back and hear those two pass each other by outside the door, they mumble something to each other.
I'm glad I didn't cave in, I always preach to my kids back home that when I do discipline with them I am fair and consistent, I couldn't go against what I say when dealing with adults. I'm sure Christian will be moody for a day or two, then get over it...hey it's not my fault you're late.
I got my first care package from one of my students Russell. It was great, two boxes of sprees and two starbursts, plus a long letter from him. Great kid, a little quiet (which isn't a bad thing haha)and loves football like me. He wrote he is staying at Combs. I would've loved to coach him but since he will be at Combs that will not happen. He is what they need there, a kid who works hard and is respectfull. I gotta write him and my sister and niece and nephew. I'll be busy tonight
i start phase II of P90X today, I'm scar'd. A lot of pain and sweat ahead, the last week has been recovery week, just doing core, yoga, and stretch X. It just gotta do it, no excuses! They do say that you see huge gains from phase I to phase II so hopefully

March 15

I can't believe they are now blocking ESPN on the military computers, what is the world coming to? hahaha It's a bummer, obviously if you knew me you would know its one of my favorite websites. I guess it's a threat to AOR security, whatever. I can get it on the MWR computers still. They also are now blocking amazon.com and ebay
I got a care package from my sister April. It was so awsome, it made my week! reeces candies, tuna packs, lemondrop thingies, a few small books regarding the lord and letters from her, Isabel, and diego. This is outstanding! Now I need to write them back old school. When I was in the navy I was great at writing letters, there was no email and internet was in its infant stages. sound old? I would write people I was only acquantences back home just to get a letter. They just took so darn long to receive!
The guys are starting to slack so I had to put my foot down today, and now they act like they are so hurt. I actually made a guy stay an hour late because he was late for the third time in 4 weeks. I heard we are getting a tech and two staffs as replacements. a nice relief, love these guys as people but a little maturity will be refreshing
Mohr made a mistake today, luckily we were able to do damage control without day shift knowing. Because the certain individual was late, she had to fill in at the gate and failed to look at the DV board. DV is distinguished visitor, an 0-6 or E-9, we had an E-9 sergeant major on the board. Well, problem is we had a flight go out, but if you don't look at the board, your probably not going to look in the DV lounge, and probably not going to realize a sergeant major is crashed out, and missed the flight, didn't wake up till three hours later. First, how could anyone sleep that soundly in a recliner? Well he woke up, and Mohr admits she screwed up. One thing I admire about her is she can admit when she's wrong, like me. A lot of people in the military cannot. And she busts her butt every day, so I can definitely live with a mistake here and there. There was a flight that the embassy hadgoing four hours later, they were nice enough to get me a seat.
I hear a knock on the day, open it and it's sergeant H, bamm! right in my face. Remember, she's Puerto Rican, so right away I can tell she's fuming because of the sergeant major. Don't look at her eye, i tell myself, so I look at her hair. Oh she colored it some crazy red, oh great now i'm going to stare at her bad color. So I look down, and sheepishly tell her we made a mistake, and we're fixing it. she walks away saying, "these guys are breathing down my neck!" I'd hate to see her get angry at her husband!
Or logistics planner asked if we had a flight going to Ali Aselem Kuwait? I'm thinking, we always do, when he tells me a shocker, an airment is pregnant! WOW! For one, it is against the base rules to have sex. Two, they didn't use precautions. Everyone knows the penalty, automatic reduction in rank, immediately sent out of the AOR. And amazingly, they sell protection at the shoppette, in the most generic non-special effect version as possible. This is now the second female in six weeks that has gotten pregnant here. Crazy!
I about peed my pants today, I'm talking to a UN guy when I hear on the speaker, "Incoming, Incoming!!" My heart almost jumped out of my chest, I crashed to the ground, fetal position, hands over my head, mouth open so my teeth do't shatter from the concussion. After 30 seconds I see people getting up. what? A drill? Me and the UN guy did not hear that, scary, thank god it was only a drill

March 13

Here's whats on my mind:

-It seems like every time I go on an annual tour, there is a history-making event going down. The Tsunami in Japan, unfortunately, is one for the history books. I've been to Japan, I know it's cold there right now, rainy, and in Tokyo, the sheer number of people, there must be major, major chaos going down. I feel terrible, I should send a donation to Unicef. One of the LNO's brought up a comment I both agree and disagree with. She (specialist donahue) said, "why do we always have to bend backwards to help other countries, get us in further debt? Where were the other countries with hurricane Katrina?" Well, I would always put myself in someone elses shoes,if I was homeless, cold, and hungry, I would sure want someone helping me. But she's right, where were the other countries when Katrina hit? That was downright despicable that happened on American soil. Those were terrible images. I remember being on the beach 30 miles south of Tokyo in 2000, seeing a sign saying something to the effect of, "Beware of Tsunami, run to the nearest high ground." I tried imagining what it would look like, now I know exactly what it looks like. I must really get down on my knees and pray for them.
You'll be a little surprised what happended in history on some of my annual tours during my career:
1. Camp Zama Japan 1992: I was there when the Rodney King riots started, unfolding before my eyes. I actually got teary eyed, I was embarrased because one of the girls in our section, (black) said, "what the hell is wrong wit you?" Crazy stuff
2. Atlanta, 2002: Lennok Lewis beat Mike Tyson....hahah just kidding, but it was an entertaining fight and the beginning of the end for one of the most devasting fighters in boxing history before his rape conviction
3. Yokota Japan 2003: We invaded Iraq, we were all watching at the base sports bar as the events unfolded. It was rediculous, how they had former generals doing literally play by play commentary on all the news channels. I remember thinking in the back of my mind, "something just isn't right." Everyone was so not in reality, thinking we were going to cruise to victory, all it took was the first servicemen to be held with bullets in their head and the pictures to get leaked on the internet to realize, this is no joke!
4. Korea 2006: North Korea launched a test nuclear warhead, all eyes were on us, CNN, everything. Tense!
5. Norfolk Virginia 2008: Beginning of the economic collapse. fanny Mae and Freddy Mac, in the blink of an eye, almost closed. what happened was a disaster of huge prportions, a domino effect, with housing and the auto industry, recession would soon follow. All unfolding before my eyes on annual tour. How could people have not predicted this?
6. Korea 2009: same thing as 2006, but more intense because they had done it before, and everyone was very ticked, very tense, plus we had just finished a week of war excersizes. We went to Seoul that day and we had to bring a SAT phone just in case stuff hit the fan and they had to recall us.

So, five historical events, pretty interesting, huh?
- Some people from my unit actually love being here, I sometimes get annoyed when they look at me all crazy when I answer them truthfully how it's going here and if time is going fast. It's OK and no time is not going fast. Sometimes I think that people in my unit don't have family, are not close to their family, or have really boring lives at home. I mean, this is everything I expected but I swear, I think everyone here volunteered to come except me. I wish I could have what they are having. From A pure physical standpoint, I feel fantastic, no caffeine for about 7 weeks now and getting in shape. somehow I have to keep the discipline to stay doing this stuff, of course I'm going to go back to drinking diet soda, but hopefully not as much. I saw a picture of me last year at the river and I was disgusted

-People going through the Xray are really annoying me lately for being annoyed with have to get their stuff X-rayed. Complaining under their breath (I'm just waiting for one to look me in the eye then I'll give them the riot act, but they don't because they know they're wrong and being selfish), trying to sneak by their when I have my back turned for 15 seconds, even though we have a clear sign that says "STOP put your bags through Xray EVERY TIME!" IT's a FLIPPIN WAR ZONE PEOPLE!!!! just because they are allowed to carry weapons they think they shouldn't have to xray anything. What about grenades? Explosive? All it takes is one C-130 to go down, then they'll be crapping their pants. Geez the complaceny. I had some civilian try to give me attitude about boxes he delivered, he didn't want them X-rayed because it was so bulky, said he didn't know what the problem was because they let him by on the day shift, I told him the last time I checked this is a war zone, then he says, well you guys called us telling us to deliver it. Based on racial profiling, he doesn't fit the bill, so after looking at the cargo I let him through but I should've called for verification, the last time i'll ever let an annoyed civilian try to give me the guilt trip. I'm running out of patience, and I am the NCOIC so i could be a real jerk about it if I need to!

- It stinks I cannot get pictures on the flightline, if only Nelson was here since he is safety NCO and he is allowed to take pictures. I just see real cool stuff with all the helos and planes, Apocolypse Now-vietnam War kindof stuff, stuff out of a movie. but it's not worth getting in trouble, somehow I gotta sneak a few when noone is looking.

-

psychological warfare

This will be the last blog i will mention the drama going on with the dayshift and the new escalating drama with segeant "jump-to". I have come to the conclusion that they will not change their leadership styles and nothing is going to change, that I am going to have to deal with this counter-productive, psychological warfare. Am i being over-dramatic? Hahaha maybe, but it does add unecessary stress.
So here is my last entry on this drama because you can all use your imagination from here on out and know that every three or four days a new situation will occur or a slightly different version of whats going on now, just plug and play. Well, just like i anticipated, sergeant "right" complained to sergeant "jump-to". Just like I anticipated, sergeant "jump-to" listiens to one side of the story and makes a rash decision without gathering facts or interviewing involved parties, just like the last week with the email response rushing a verdict on our baggage section involving the Balad DO. So I get an email from him/her explaining the purpose of a cypher lock, wow, this is so enlightening, I thought cypher locks were for decoration, not for making sure people do not get into a secure gate. So the email is like cc'd to four people and sent to four others, so funny. I definitely have to get the whole story out there so I naturally respond back with all the facts (this is in regards to the situation that caused me to raise my voice, see last journal entry)..this is nothing new to sergeant "vulcan" who was CC'd, who I had talked to about this about three weeks ago. So he makes a decision in my favor,but then we have our NCO staff meeting and now sergeant "vulcan" wants to revisit the issue. Are you kidding me? So we are all sitting around, people giving their opinions, obviously day shift leaders leading towards sergeant "right" and the nightshift leaders leading toward me. As we are discussing it I am realizing this is a very unique issue with many concerns, problems, etc. A temporary holding bin for baggage is nowhere to be found in the AOR maybe even the entire middle east, but Baghdad is unique in the sense that people get stuck here for days on end, waiting for a flight, there just isn't enough flights in/out to meet the needs of the pax. If they are leaving for good, what do they do with their luggage if they get stuck? Though I originally wanted to just get rid of the entire thing, I did start to empathize with the passengers. So when it was all said and done we left it the way it was, which sergeant predictably comments, "so in other words, were leaving it how the day shift has been doing it all along!" Clever to use that carefully placed choice of words, I thought. This is now going counter-productive to how I was trying to focus our manpower, so it's back to the drawing board again, which could make me wishy-washy with my crew. This is where I wish Nelson was here. Emotions? I was Initially ticked but hey I stood up for what I believed in, we talked in a forum where many people were getting involved and a consensus decision was made, not rash decisions by one or two people. I kept hearing, "we had a system and now all the sudden we're changing it." aimed at my initial decision. Damn right! It's not working for my shift! Anyways thats where we are at, I am mentally drained, but as the night DO said, "there are some battles that we are just not going to win, and that's one of them." So I will be true to my word and never mention the inter-shift drama again, you know it's there. Just like "the young and the Restless" soap opera. I was addicted to it for about 7 years, stopped watching it in 94'. But I know even today that Victor Newman still hates Jack Abbott, Cricket is still whiney, Victor and Nicky will forever be on-again off-again, Phyliss is still trying to blackmail someone, you get the picture, the same scenarios will be going on with me until the intitial March Air Base crew leaves May 1st.

March 10

Some random events of the last 4 days

* My lower back is feeling tweeky, not good. We have the FTF tomorrow. I don't know what I did to it. I did myP90X Kempo and cut it short with 15 minutes to go, then I went to jog and it was acting up but mellowed out after a mile. I really want to get it out of the way here and not have to take it back at March. I feel like a pro athelete, how they go through, "doubtfull" to "questionable" to "probable"

* I raised my voice at sergeant "right". I was not wrong being angry, I was wrong acting angry. Honestly, it felt very good going off, it was a great adreniline rush. but I know as an NCO I always have to show restraint. He/she came in and at first I thought he/she was complaining about the baggage gate door being left open, to be honest I wasn't really paying attention to what he/she was saying, just another complaint in a long series of little things. We hadn't been guilty of that since the week I got here. He/she comes back 20 minutes later and starts complaining that it happened again, I bolt up out of my chair and start walking toward the gates. H/she then re-directs me to the baggage temporary holding bin where guys are looking for their bags. He/she believes we have to watch it until those guys have closed the gate since it is in her opinion, a secured location. This is what he/she was complaining about, oh heck no!! I went from 0-60 mph in 3.4 seconds (I used to say that to my kids when I'm about to get upset). So I proceeded to explain in a raised tone of voice how we aren't reponsible, that's why there is a sign posted on the gate that says we are not responsible for anything missing or stolen, and proceeded to tell him/her there was nowhere in the LOI that states we need to have someone out there when they are in the holding bin. I have that Irish temper, it's rare but when it comes out, watch out. The last time that happened was when a certain Combs football player disrespected me at half-time of one of our games in 2009. Luckily I didn't use any profanity when talking to him/her, he/she walked away, came back two minutes later and said he/she didn't appreciate me yelling at him/her and it was disrespectfull. I knew I better do some damage control being he/she is a higher rank, so I apologized. I still know that my facts were correct so I will not change how we do not watch the gate while people are in there. I guess it's ok between us, I still need to keep standing up for what I believe is right, just not yell.

*Tuesday i was so physically drained by the time I got off of shift, but not really mentally. It was a wierd feeling, but I just knew there was no way I would be able to work-out. I had this intense desire to crawl into my bed and sleep, which I did at 12:30pm. I thought I would take a nap and get up to go work out. forget it, I slept till 12:05 am checked to see if they needed me (it was my on-call day)and then felt too wierd to try to work out at 1oo am so I went to bed again till 400am. I slept 14 total hours, unbelievable. When I woke up, I felt more awake then I have since I go here. Very wierd, I had a lot of bizarre dreams, but I guess my body just slowly grew more fatigued until my body said "need a break"

* As an NCOIC I have this amazing power to allow or not allow people on a plane. We have civilians that want to board our planes and in order to fly in Iraq you need a passport, which is wierd because usually you need a passport to fly from one country to another, not to fly within a country. I had this lady, oh my gosh what a mess. she's telling me all this jibberish and all I can think of is we got in trouble last week for allowing someone on the plane that their passport did not match their LOA (letter of authorization)from their employer. I'm telling her this, we cannot allow her to fly, they don't match, she keeps insisting,everything coming from her mouth still sounds like gibberish. Man is she annoying me, she just isn't taking no for an answer, I'm now quoting the foreign clearance guide, I'm printing it out for her, but then I see a little section about paperwork for non-u.s. citizens. I did see some wierd document she had, for non-u.s. citizens. So I ask her, "this says you are not a u.s. citizen?" Then she says, correct but she got married now she is she now has a passport but the passport number isn't the same as on the LOA. Her company put in to have it fixed three weeks ago and no response. Now it's starting to make sense, it's not so much jibberish anymore. Do I really want to have her stuck here for who knows how long before they can fix her LOA? Of course not, I put myself in her shoes. How can we get around this, I don't want to get in trouble. Maybe a verbal confirmation from her employer? that's it, so I tell her, she calls him and he tells me, I enter it into the system and we get her on the plane. She was going right to Kuwait Int. so she would be out of our hair in no time. If she was going to land in another Iraqi destination, there would be no way. So it felt really cool when I went to Airman Foley, and said "airman foley...sign her up!" She had the hugest look of relief on her face, it felt good. This is an example of some of the decisions I have to make. We have to be very carefull allowing citizens on planes because if they have jacked up paperwork and land in another location, they may be stuck until they can fix their paperwork. A huge responsibility, but good experience if I ever want to work at an airport, which I don't, teaching is much more fun.

Good Neighbor Program

(the female with the u.s. flag on her arm is Msgt. Smartey-pants. Don't let the smile fool ya! Read below)
Today was the good neighbor tour day. It started out a little wild at work, we came onto a 7 hr delayed plane, a ticked off major, yes, a major of all ranks, and a severe dust storm. The dust storm delayed the plane and the delay ticked off the major. We heard he was demanding to speak to the officer in charge and even the squadron commander, give me a break, you’re a flipping major not a general, and do you really think we actually have an officer on shift at 11 at night? Pllllease we had him talk to the port superintendent. I used to be so in awe of officers when I was younger but now I'm older than most of them and have a bachelors just like they do. I understand you’re tired and cranky but we’re not waking anyone up to talk to you. The plane finally arrived but had to circle the airport for a whole hour before it had enough visibility to land.
I'm pretty sure were losing Nelson for a month, his wife is pretty I'll and needs to go home on emergency leave. It's not life threatening but he needs to take care of her until her medicine starts kicking in. He's a huge help but with every day now I feel more capable of singlehandedly running things, but we work really good together, we bounce ideas off each other all the time. So that might happen in the next three days.
There is supposed to be this squadron barbecue to kick off the beginning of each month at the mwr. What a joke, I get there at 1 pm because our weekly staff meeting went way too long and the food is pretty much gone. No burgers a few pieces of burnt looking chicken, I look around and I see no grills! They got the food all at the dfac. What nerve, calling it a barbecue! Never again. Darn! It's 105 and we have to report to the good neighbor thing at 135 and I haven't ate. Gotta run for the border, literally! Can I walk there, eat, and make it back? Gotta try, I'm starving. I made it, I was 30 seconds late. I see Shawna, good, someone I know. Everyone here I don't know and there is a lot here. We load the trucks with goodies and get on the bus and go. We're going to area iv.

What is area iv? It is where the families of the Iraqi special forces
live. Is it off base? Technically yes, you have to drive literally 3/4 of a
mile then you are the Iraqi side, their special forces. Their base looks like a more rundown version of ours but not much difference. A few cool murals but not much. We get to area 4 and it looks kind of like a campground with a playground. Where are the houses? They said were going to pass the bags out to the families. I see two girls playing on the swing but no other kids. It's funny, our sponsor said not to get in water fights because it is viewed as wasting water. What do I see when we pull in? A water hose on full tilt watering the ground. I think it's funny, I want to take a picture of it. I start fiddling it and this female Msgt SF gives me this annoyed look and says you’re not supposed to be taking pictures. I thought they said in the living area, I ask her this and she gives me this same annoyed look, now I'm starting to get ticked, she doesn't know what she's talking about, so I turn my back to her without saying another word. I noticed that no one else is taking pictures so I don't press it. Every branch of service every era, you’re going to have the person with the chip on their shoulder trying to expose someone’s faults to make themselves look good. She outranks me so what can you do? Pretty soon a few boys start to play soccer with
some of the guys, it's still like 35 airmen and four kids. I thought we were
going to pass out the boxes to the families at their houses. I take pictures and shoot a little video, I wonder what Msgt. Smarty-pants is thinking about her premature comment now? Honestly I am starting to get a little bored. I see two other boys come in, they are trying to get some people on the side together for a team. I’m just not really feeling it, why don’t they want to play basketball or volleyball and not soccer?

A few more girls come in and before I know it they are having relay races where they are getting on the shoulders of the female airmen. This looks fun, I want to join in. I get there and none of the girls want me to piggy back them. A few minutes late the girls want to do some game, they a trying to choose airmen and the most sad thing occurs. A girl is searching, she looks me up and down, and moves past me. These girls are between 5-9. Wow, I got passed by, kind of embarrassing. Either because I’m male and they don’t trust males or I look old. I mean, I am one of the older people on this tour. Later on I noticed, once a lot more kids came in there were much more girls then boys, if they picked a male airmen, it was they were either brown skinned or big, maybe they relate to big as looking like a bear. Who knows?

This is what I imagined it would be like: We pass out the care bags to the families, families are grateful, smiling from ear, makes us feel good. We get to take lots of pictures. Then we go to the playground area, tons of kids clambering for us to play with them. They are very eager, excited, and when we pass out the toys/candy in the end, grateful.
Reality: We do not get to pass out bags to the families, the kids have fun but there is not that many of them, 20 at the most, they are happy but their actions indicate that this is routine, they have done all of this before. Some kids don’t take any candy/toys at all, while some do so without even a smile. Honestly, even though these people in area IV seem poor in our eyes, they are probably middle class to common Iraqi’s. I bet if we went to a real Bagdad neighborhood it would be like what I had envisioned.
Then again I have to ask myself, why are we doing this? For our benefit or for theirs? It should be for theirs, so if that is the case, hey we were here, we were available, that is all we can control, and we should be able to feel good about it, no matter how goofy it turned out. We got into the bus and drove off, a few waved while most did not, were back in their own little world. I’m feeling a little tired, a little sunburned beside putting on sunscreen (I can’t imagine when it gets hotter?, and ready to give and buy a small pizza. As we get dropped off, Msgt. Smartypants has to get one final, “I’m going to make myself look good at your expense,” when there is a sergeant blocking the busway trying to put on his IBA and she has to say, “C’mon people let’s move we don’t have all day.” Mohr says under her breath, “what’s up with feisty?” Off to go eat!

Things I am thankful for

I know there have been times I have complained about things here and rightly so, but I do want to take time out for things I am thankful to god for:
1. I have my own room instead of sleeping in a tent.
2. I eat hot food, all the I want, instead of MRE's.
3. I get to see my family a few times each week through my video phone.
4. I have access to the internet
5. I get to take a hot shower every day
6. I have all the clean bottled water I need.
7. I do not work with anyone I despise.
8. I get more then 5 hrs of sleep per day.
9. I HAVE NOT DIRECTLY BEEN INVOLVED IN ONE ATTACK SINCE I HAVE BEEN HERE! Before I got here our first group got hit 8 times in three weeks!

The lord is definitely watching down over me and listening to all the prayers people have been sending.

**Airman Christian is sitting in the dispatch desk, he is sound asleep with his hands supporting his head, and he is listening to Death Metal in the background. How is this humanly possible???