5/30

It feels like I'm swimming as I walk, that how humid it feels. It's a heat categary 5, I think thats the worst, something like 15 min of work followed by 45 min of rest, I may be wrong, I don't know. I have my last official day of work tonight, it's so awsome!!
I finally finished the P90X program, I'm definitely proud of this because I did it without a workout partner and working 75 hrs a week. i lost 16 lbs, wish I lost more but I feel great, I feel at least 10 yrs younger. Now I'm going to give the INSANITY workouts a spin, they look very tough, Sean T might be gay but he is in incredible shape and he gets on you to keep up. I'm about to do my first one in 10 minutes, I'm scared!!
it's now official, the plane lands in Ontario June 9th at 155pm. It's almost a reality, but first thing is first and that is to get the wheels up on the C-130 off Sather friday. I'm starting to rethink whether we should continue with the drawdown, now I say yes. Before I said no, we have too much to lose. Just reading the news I have on it, I think the people in general want us out so bad now, the Iraqi's, there will be so much friction among the general Iraqi population and definitely increased violence. I worry about my comrads we leave behind. There is talk about Iran possibly invading, but seriously, has there been any intel on this, i haven't read anything on it, it's pretty much theoretical. You can't even come close to comparing the end to the end in the Vietnam War, we knew the North was the enemy, that they would overtake the country the second we left. Let's give them a chance to make it on there own, I just feel with what I have seen with the big money here, the many contractors, there is much more to this then protecting a infant-like democracy. Yes, my opinion has changed, yet no matter what I think now, I just know without a doubt that we are going to stay, Factions of both Sunni and Shia are going to be pissed, and this base is going to regress 7-8 yrs in the gains it's made on maintaining local security. Mark my words, it's going to happen, but I just want to be on record saying we should continue with our drawdown and don't look in the rea-view mirror!!

5/29

Man I feel miserable. My eyes are so irritated, I can barely focus. I've been have the worst case of alergies the last few days, yesterday I was real sensitive to sunlight and was feeling light-headed. I really may have to break down and go to sick call. Anderson bought me some generic benedryl but it didn't do any good.
I had to move out of my CHU yesterday, wierd, I actually felt a little sentimental. It was not a fun process because it was about 108 outside and I had to lug my gorilla box to the post office to ship it out. Wow, good thing I wasn't trying to ship out drugs or guns, they opened it up and inspected everything. It was rough moving all my bags to the temporary tents. The tents actually aren't bad, they are partitioned off and have a wall locker, plus the AC was so cold I'm going to need an extra blanket. Still it was loud over there, you could hear the Iraqi firing range and the planes landing.
Something very sad and humorous just happened, I was given a package, it looked like a DVD case. I open it and there is 1 baggage tag held by cardboard, followed by an invoice. I thought, is this a prank, I looked at the invoice and what do you know, it said 1 baggage tag. I looked at the cost of shipping, it said $1.71 Are you flipping kidding me, they sent me 1 baggage tag. Normally, in order to have enough baggage tags, individuals working at the passenger terminalcan order 1,000 baggage tags per month through the AF Portal. I must have made a mistake and accidentally put 1 instead of 1,000. You mean to tell me that noone did a QC and saw I made this boo-boo, they just went and shipped it off. I had to take a picture of it, so stupid! It just goes to show you in the age of automation, mistakes can be made that could nickel and dime the taxpayers.
It's almost 11am, I still feel miserable, I went to go see the doctor, gave me some Claritin, I have never felt like this with allergies, I just need to go to bed and close me eyes....this country is killing me, literally.

5/26

Three days ago I got invited by Shawna to got to the VBC area to the bazaars. Smith and Anderson were going to. It felt good to get off base, it's been about two months I think. We go to the artificial lakes to get to the shopping area, can't remember the name. We got temporarily lost but it gave me a chance to take some pictures, I saw a few mosques I wasn't sure were there before. I wish we could stop by them to take a few pictures but I'm not driving. We get to the little area to shop, it's dead, this might because of the command directive that pretty much bans us from eating at most of these eatery's. They did some tests and found some high levels of bacteria, I mean, I do appreciate the looking out for our safety, but I do feel bad for these restaurants, how are they going to survive? It's interesting to see the dynamic of the military trying to stimulate business in the country, yet we also have the power to crush as well. We go to shop at these places, most of the stuff is lame, just wierd clothing styles, very euro-centric with the soccor style shirts and the huge emblems on shirts, the gawdy shoes, and jeans I wouldn't be caught dead in. We stayed there much longer then I wanted, I knew the bazaar by the main exchange would have a much better selection.

I bought a t-shirt and a coin. We get to the Bazaar, I'm making a few deals, then it seems not even 20 minutes, the group is acting like they want to go. Here we go again, flashbacks of every annual tour I've ever gone on, always being dependant on other people, great difficulty ever being able to do anything on your off-time 100% independantly. so now I have to rush my shopping,I got almost everything but their were I few items I wanted to grab that I couldn't. It seemed like everything was over-priced, you could barter, which I did, but they only go down so much, honestly I was too tired to make a scene and try to get them to go lower then I did. I got my wife a cool dress and the girls cute scarfs, and got other various items for the family. I felt a little bummed spending the money I did, maybe I'm just not use to shopping. But with me I try to do the glass half full philosophy, noy very many people come here, even fewer buy things from here, I was able to do that. I hope people like my stuff. We got back and I got about 5 hrs sleep, I was hurting.

The next day was crazy, same ole stuff, cancellations, diversions, delays. Sergeant "Jump to" was parolling the area, I never remember sergeant "Vulcan" coming around the terminal this much, (shrug shoulders). He finally comes up to me and asks me about the schedule, I told him Sgt. Smith has been doing it. He then starts asking me all these questions about it, "why has A1C M been in the same sections two weeks straight?" 1. Another exageration, hasn't been that many days, 2. Why are you asking me about this, didn't I just tell you I wasn't doing the schedule? Everything was said to me in a manner that conveyed that I was either to blame or responsible, he said to find out about it, I'm thinking, "no, I'll email him to talk to you about it, I'm not responsible for this." Then 30 minutes later, the ATOC rep and dispatcher are trying to get ahold of the gate regarding bringing pax out to the plane and there is no response. I'm manning the X-ray sation, I go into dispatch and say, "why is it that noone is answering that radio call when we have three people manning that station?!" I was annoyed, but even got more annoyed when I saw sergent "Jump-to" was sitting down at the desk. Great, he's listening, I'm sure in some grand scheme of things I am personally, directly responsible for the Gate not answering the radio. Where's Sergeant C??? Probably at the plane where he does absolutely no good as an NCOIC. It's so busy around the terminal and so many darn people are going through the X-ray that I do not get to speak to him until an hour and a half later. I tell him, "you do us no good being at the plane, you need to be at the flight line so you can monitor what the gates are doing, we had a situation where the gate isn't answering the radio, how can you monitor that when you are behind the darn C-130 engines??" He said he's just use to going out there, but I told him he's the NCOIC, he's gotta be available for dispatch to pass down information, he keeps taking off, and he's of no use not being where the action is. He's worrying me, he try's hard but to me it's obvious he doesn't want the responsibility so he sets himself up to subtley avoid it. I'm really not going to over worry myself, I really am trying but as soon as I get in that C-130 it's no longer my concern.

We are trying to leave at shift change when we see the baggage guys are still building a pallet. This is annoying because the day shift should be taking this over, they have plenty of people in their sections to where they can get them to assist in building the pallet. I could bring this up but honestly, I have a short-timers attitude in that it would be too much work and heartache to see this through. So we start helping them, it's crappily built, and very soon, it falls apart, almost burying A1C Salee from the other shift, all 145 lbs of him. He's pissed, and angrily limps off and slams the gate. All of the sudden SSgt. Mohr takes charge, barking orders, saying we can do this, it's nothing. I'm impressed, I can tell some of the airmen don't like this, but she served at Bagram, an insanely busy port, and that alone gives her some definite respect points in my book. A1C CL starts complaining, this is dissapointing because him and D worked very hard to this point working baggage the whole shift, but now things that are coming out of his mouth are turning me off. He's asking for the rationale and the "Why" to the purpose of this whole pallet? I try to tell him, we had to reconfigure the pallet to fit PAX, with this new configuration we can only put on one pallet so yes, it's going to be a real big pallet. He the proceeds to ask out loud, "why didn't somebody stand up for us?" I'm thinking, "what?? That makes no sense, it's not about standing up, it's about MOVING PEOPLE!!" some of these flippin airmen, their mentality is all about the amount of work they do or don't do, not about being a professional and doing your job, completing the mission. I let the comment slide, it would be a waste of time to respond and delay us from getting this done and getting the heck out of their. I proceed to help re-build the pallet. I did take a mental note and I will repond the next time he openly complains about something again. We finish it, it looks fantastic, I'm proud of sergeant Mohr for taking charge of the situation. I've said it before and I'd say it again, I am not a pallet building expert.

I have the day off, I have to go in to fill out a questionaire for medical so I have to do it on a military computer. sergeants E and "jump-to" are there, please don't tell me they are going to start asking me about stuff on my day off. They do, first "jump-to" about if I talked to smith. No, he was off yesterday and I was off today, how could I have time to talk to him, I told him i sent him an email to talk to you as soon as you got in. He leaves and then sergeant E stays behind and asks me something that totally threw me off. He asked me if there was a mutiny going on against someone. At first I wanted to laugh, i said who? He said sergeant C, wow, I couldn't believe it. I've had some frustrations with him but I have not verbalized it. I told him no, not since a particular airmen expressed concerns but that was two weeks ago and I told sergeant E about it. I said I'm trying to help him take my job over. He said that was all he needed to know then left. what was that all about? what was said? Great!! I'm at a point I honestly don't trust anyone in are section that is a higher rank then me right now, and there are very few people in our aerial port section that are higher rank then me so if you can read between the lines...I thought all the drama left when the last group of aerial port deployers left?? Who flippin knows! I guess I'll have to do some investigating tonight. A mutiny!! I can't believe it! To hear the words "civil war" and "mutiny" being used in describing the airmen to airmen interactions of the aerial port is just goofy! Man, just let me survive oh lord, just one more week!!

5/23

Random thoughts:

I was proud of my guys yesterday. We had one of the dreaded, "thru-load" planes that go to multiple destinations. so we had to get people off that were terminating here, take the baggage pallet of the plane, then combine it with the bags of the PAX going from here to AlUdeid. of course this happens right at shift change, chalk up another week I miss Sunday service, we can go 7 hrs without a flight then conveniently, week after week, have flights scheduled starting 10:30 am, what is it, the logistic planner not believe in god? So we have to take apart and build up a baggage pallet right when we were supposed to get off, no one complained, we did it, but then ATOC said that because there were toolboxes being loaded, we may have to bump pax, which meant that people may have to get their bags off the pallet if they were bumped. That was our cue, we (the night shift) was outta there. The day cargo people didn't seem to like it, too bad, wasn't our fault, either LOG planning or load planning dropped the ball. The old McGuire guys would had left right at shift brief, which by doing so, were throwing me under the bus because I would then proceed to get chewed out by day shift, which would then start or continue our civil war. These guys do care, they are professional, and I'm gratefull.
But everytime something will go right, there is a monkeywrench. Sergeant W was late for the third time, I told sergeant S he's now the assistant NCOIC and sergeant C he is the NCOIC but none of them seem to want to do anything about guys showing up late, I refuse to deal with it anymore, this is there crew now. All I know is they are setting a terrible precedent, I documented tardiness, dealt with it, assigned extra work, now these guys are letting stuff slide. Now the guys that had stuff said to them are going to feel unfairly picked on. Oh well, I tried, they are going to have a big mess down the road, guaranteed, people will start showing up late left and right. I was late one time since I was here, because I could not find my id card, but I called 10 minutes before shift brief to let them know so it's not technically being late.
The cadillac kept losing power last week, it was wierd, we got on maintnence about it and guess what happened? Someone stuck underwear down the toilet, not even underwear, drawells!! It is so sick it's not even human, there is no way a military person did this, had to have been Haji or Ugandan. I told one of the contractors, "what the hell?" and he says, "exactly, that's where this place is located!" He's right, but man it's Just wrong!!
It's now in the 100's, with the humidity, the heat totally saps your strength, to where just walking to and from the DFAC/fitness center/shopette seems risky.
There are continued assasinations of Iraq's military leadership by Al qaeda, it goes to show they are a long ways away, they as in their police force, from taking the reigns. I mean, people are just able to walk around with silencers and just capping people in broad daylight, C'mon?!!
I saw a caption on CNN saying that Baghdad got hit with bombings and 20 were dead, I would assume civilians, not our military, i coul've sworn I heard some rockets way in the distance this morning.

time is going way too slow, the last week has seemed like a month.

One of the freight NCO's will not tell us how to pronounce her last name, it is some eastern european, polish sounding name. One could easily deduce how it might sound, part of the problem is its there a part thats "vlj" with vowels before and after. She refuses to tell anyone, she just says, "call me "tp." TP? Do you know what I think when i thnk of the initials TP? remember the cadillacs?....We all think it's silly and actually a little unprofessional, I don't tell people "call me sergeant T.O" Very nice person, but i don't get the initials. the next time I have to address this person, I'm going to just go for it and try to pronounce their name

I forgot to mention the other day, at the end of Jenna's melt-down she says, "daddy,I don't want you watching football when you get home, I don't want to watch it with you anymore?" She's killing me, thank god for DVR, but I may have to put her to bed early on satuday and sunday. I was sad she was crying but it was a little funny how she mentioned football all of the sudden. seriously, I will be focused on them much more

5/20

Jenna and Chelsea put on the funniest show, they were dancing like divas, bigtime, I couldn't believe how sassy Jenny was dancing, it was funny but also scary, she was just mimicking the video but doing to the T. I can't remember the songs, i think it was GAGA, Chelsea going to town also. This was the clearest I had ever seen the video phone work, it was great, like looking at a video camera. Then Jenna broke my heart, started crying for 15 minutes straight, saying how much she missed me and why couldn't I come home right now!? I would've felt worse but I was worried about not finding my i.d. (it freaked me out, I left it in my dirty blouse but luckily they hadn't delivered out the laundry so I got it out, once again the lord looking down on me, would've caused major problems if I had to wait till Sat. to get it back.) I think poor Jenna had been holding that in her system a long time, and she felt better getting it off her chest. It's going to be fun just spoiling them for the next few weeks.
Remember Sgt. Smartypants? She has been so nice lately, saying hi how are you doing, big smile on her face. It's funny, I want to say, "aren't you the same person that gave me the disgusted look when I was filming Iraqi's at the park like i was allowed?" But I didn't I just smiled back. what can I say, this place can bring out the worst moods in everyone
I am so sick of hearing endless cliche's, can't people thinking of original things to say, instead of, "another day in paradise,""same s--t different day""living the dream" gets old.
I am so close to getting my SEI-45 class finished, just two more assignments. Then I can really relax

5/18

What a crazy day. We had six cancellations, 5 from the dust storm and one from an engine malfunction probably due to the duststorm. It create a butterfly effect, like we went back in time and changed one things, and it changed everything. Plus there were 6 emergency leaves trying to get on planes today. The cancellations forced people off the plane obviously, so we have to try to put them back in the space a system, we have to rotate them off the flight in GATES, make sure they get their bags, plus we have he Army R&R personnel we have to try to put them on other flights because they're higher priority then Space A's. Sound complicated? it is, and everyone did a pretty darn good job adjusting to it. A few were getting frustrated, but i say, "why get frustrated? any time you have cancelled flights things are going to go belly up, why fight it?" We had a inspection tour, the new Deputy commander of the base. He had an entourage and I showed him around the terminal. Beside about two seconds of stage fright, I did fine. I walked them over to the gate, and to my disbelief, TSgt. C isn't there, unbelievable! Thank god I was there, I just did the brief he was supposed to do. What the heck, two days ago the new Chief of the base is doing a tour, I tell Cusick to meet him at the counter so he can take him around. 20 minutes later I'm at the fligthline I look and there walks past an entourage with the new Chief, no Cusick. I look to my left and whose standing there daydreaming, C""!!! I go up to him and say, "the group you were supposed to take on a tour WALKED PAST YOU!!" Now this, to which he said something he was waiting in dispatch for them to go through there, "no that's not what I asked you to do, I asked you to be at the gate." I personally like him but he is KILLING me!. His head sometimes is somewhere else, and he has told me he worries about his grown daughter at home, I get that, but you have to step up dude! I got a pretty cool compliment the other day but I red flag just as well. One of our key airman said, "you are the only reason why we aren't getting our butts chewed out every day, you actually have a back-bone and will stand up for us, you know your s__t and you know how to manage people." Wow, pretty cool. This was in reference to why they are feeling very nervous having C take over my spot. I told this to the superintendent, who suggested maybe I switch my assistant NCOIC, I said, "well he has 14 yrs experience".."exactly, why isn't he a tech now?"...."good point"..."thats a red flag there, we're not sure about some of the things we've seen out of him." so that night he is supposed to make the schedule, he shows up late, he's jerking around getting it done, C looks at me and say's, "do you want to show him?...." to which W says defensively and annoyingly, "I've done a schedule before many many times!!" So we both look at him and say nothing. Well, he jacks the schedule up to kingdom come, has people on there that are off, he forgets to save it in the O drive. He doesn't bother re-typing it, so in the morning guess what our two master sergeants from ATOC ask for, the schedule!! I was pissed!! I told them straight up, I did NOT MAKE THAT SCHEDULE, SSGT. W did. heck ya I threw him under the bus, no way he's going to make me look bad after the nonsense I went through with the last crew. I brought him in later and told him he made me look like a jack-ass in from of them because of the schedule. His first reponse, "why are they looking at the schedule?" That's not the point, the point is you got all defensive when we tried to help you with the schedule like a darn know-it-all and you not only made yourself look bad, you made me look bad! He then says, "when are they leaving again?" Dudddde, you're starting to sound like some of the kids I teach, just refuse to accept responsibility. Well two hours later MSgt. E calls in C first, then W, then S, and when the dust settled, SSgt. S is the new assitant NCOIC with C still taking over for me. He probably thinks i had soemthing to do with it but they wanted to make that change from day one. That's a deployed area for you, very quick to use first impressions and show little patience to allow one to snap out of anything.
SSgt. Wall is slowly starting to come around, a few jokes here and there, it's good to see

the new guys

Man, am I embarrassed!
I just went to Taco Bell, and the haji cashier starts reciting exactly what my order is going to be, "chicken burrito supreme-extra onions, chicken quesadilla, bean burrito-extra onions." i started laughing, I told him, "I think I eat here too much." Either that or they have a super memory.

Our new guys are settling in well. A lot of experience. One of them was at Guam when we were there in 2007. I knew he looked familiar, small world. He wants to put in a complaint with the IG about the water bottles here. They are so big, and people are so wastefull with them. I totally agree with him, it is atrocious!! To my knowledge, there is only one recycling plant in the entire country! I told him, whatever I can do to help, let me know. It's a terrible waste, and with 11 yrs active duty, he seems to have the knowledge to be able to make it happen. One of the new crew I am very bewildered over. Very bizarre personality. I had an annoying but somewhat humorous first meeting with this person. I will call this person Sgt. "Wall" because I have never seen a person put up such a barrior in terms of socialization. I'm not sure if the humor in the conversation will show through, but a lot of it was tone in which they said what they did.

Me: "So, I can't remember, are you active duty?"
Wall: "no i am not!"
Me: "Oh your a reservist!"
Wall: "No I am not, I am in the Air Guard." (are you kidding me? there is no difference!! It's both part time, one weekend a month two weeks a year. The typical response should have been just, "Air Guard")

I then try to initialize some basic conversation in order to get to know this individual better

Me: "Ya, this is my first deployment"
Wall: fake laughter, "first deployment? hahahahahaha first deployment? you've GOT to be kidding me? Wow, first one!" (this was very annoying, it was said in a tone both condenscending and demeaning. what have I got to be ashamed about? Our unit went on our first one ever two years ago, are we less of a unit because we didn't? It actually made me greatfull I never joined the sorry-ass Guard, I had always heard they were getting deployed all the time, that's why I didn't join them. It was then I started thinking in my head, "hmmmmmm.")

more dialogue

Me: "So what do you do in the real world?"
Wall: "Stay safe?!" (I wanted to laugh,"you mean you can't tell me what you do for a living in the real world?" Funny!)

And finally

Me: "So, you married, family, kids or anything?"
Wall: "Family's good" (WOW!)

I wasn't the first person to take notice, for our first shirt asked, "have you noticed anything peculiar about....." "yes, first shirt, I'm trying to wrap my brain around it."

the only thing I can do is make sure they do their job. Noone is required to communicated outside of work related topics. to each their own I guess....

The new day shift NCOIC is a refreshing change of pace. He's mellow (like me), says little, and after getting the info he needs, he's gone! He doesn't hang out in the dispatch for 10 minutes and tell the dispatcher his endless aerial port knowledge, shift exploits and flawless experiences. And he doesn't take a daily inspection of the premises before shift brief. And I haven't seen him engage with the Shift superintendent outside for 20 minutes, and then coincedentally, have to hear the opposite shift superintendent say, "I've been hearing there's some rumblings...." So far, everything is good.

I have been getting very excited thinking of seeing my family again, going to Sea World, Disneyland, Dylan's graduation. It's almost a reality! I realized I must do better at engaging the kids more with fun activities we can do as a family, not just watching t.v. I realized being here I sometimes took it for granted in the past, saying "I worked hard, I deserve to be on the computer, or watch football, watch a movie." It is so important to the kids to give them my full attention, I will definitely strive to make them number one, besides God of course.

5/9

The March guys are officially gone, the four I came here with are the only ones letf from March. It's wild how different it feels now from when they were here, much less tension, like a huge weight has been lifted. This is how a deployment should feel with the relative workload we have. Like sergeant "Vulcan" had said, "It's like some of these people want to act like you need a doctorates degree in Aerial porting to accomplish the mission....so much bitching, whining, and complaining." Oh well, it is what it is, it's not like I have to worry about it again since this is my one and only deployment (at least in my opinion)regardless of the past, I pray for their safe return to March, and overall as a group, they can be proud of the effort they put in over here.
I finally got to go to Chaplin service, it was cool. They had a few guys playing instruments and singing, songs I recognized. The message was unusually short (20 min) and sort of vague, but with it being military, it did not surprise me. It was from Luke 24, I'll have to go back and re-read that, see what my study notes say in my ipad bible. It was a good break, hopefully with our increased manpower, I will get to go every week.
I went out tonight to wait for the C-17, out of the corner of my eye I saw a bright flash. I said to one of the guys, "wow, lightning on such a clear day?" The said, "that came from the ground, not the sky" Wow, that was a big explosion. And what do you know, it came right from the direction of Baghdad.
I heard John Mccain is coming out tomorrow, but it will be on the other shift. Too bad, I'd love to meet the guy but not to sacrifice sleep in order to do it

5/6

I had a very wierd sensation today, I guess you could say it was as close as I've come to a panic attack. I was doing the X-ray today, annoyed as I always am of having to open the temporary baggage holding bin and stand there while people fiddle around trying to decide what to take out of their bag, ask me 20 times per hour, "do you think you can open the holding bin so I can drop off my bags?" ya that, it was a huge issue three months ago. Anyways, i look up and it took a second to comprehend what I was seeing. I saw what was clearly a middle easterner, Iraqi as far as I could see, he was late 40's early 50's, in a cheap light blue suit, taking off his body armor. i just had a crazy visual, that he was a suicide bomber, and his body armor was packed with explosives. My heartrate must've went through the roof, my imagination went crazy, too much news footage I guess, ormovies, the crap happening with foreign nationals in Kabul, whatever,the guys even looked a little like Khalid Sheikh Muhammed, the architect of the hijackings of 9-11, Bin Ladens right hand man. I thought, "this could be it," said a quick prayer that it wasn't. I held my breath, ran it through, to my relief looked like the thousands of IBA's I have put through the X-ray. What a relief, I'm not over-dramatizing any of this, I really felt these emotions very quickly and vividly, without warning. I then felt a little anger but took a few deep breaths and it soon passed.
I met the new guys, they obviously aren't happy to be here. 4 of the 5 are Staff's and this is now their fourth, fifth deployment. I told you we're pushing our military to the max. Hopefully they will relax, they were tense and frowning the whole time I was talking to them. I would definitely feel exactly how they would feel if I had to come to another one of these.
As much of a wave of paranoia swept through me earlier, later it was bigtime nostalgia. I was going to go do my dreaded Yoga session of P90X,(I'm 2 weeks from finishing the entire three month program), when I saw they were having another beginning of the month barbecue at the MWR tent, the one that had no food a few months back. they played a song I hadn't heard of in what seems like years, "Joanna" by Kool and the Gang. What a great song, it was nice to hear it, it brought back a lot of memories of high school, Flagstaff, Kachina Village, Ernest, Monica and Shannon Marburger, Vince Bill....it's great how songs can do that, especially when you need a little escape at the moment. I might have to buy that song for my I-pod. Well, time to eat, read, sleep and do it all over again.

Osama Bin Laden

I wish I would've wrote this as soon as it happened, cuz then it wouldn't have sounded like I jumped on the facebook bandwagon. First people were frothing at the mouth, then they were saying it's wrong to fight hate with hate. here's what I was feeling...
When I first saw it on t.v. I thought it said Obama is dead, i said "what??" but I thought they wouldn't put a simple statement like that on CNN, then I saw and I wanted to jump out of my seat with joy. Anyone that is in the military can share the intense frustration and anger that he has not been found in 10 yrs. He's is radical Islam's Adolph Hitler, a genius that could've done so much good for society if he would've gone down the right path. But they both took fear and hatred and used them to gain power, which is the very essence of evil. His disciples have not played by the law of armed conflict, yet we are supposed to yield to this higher standard. But after I felt this huge sense of relief I immediately thought, "I wish he would've been captured." One, so he could be held accountable but as a christian, I believe that Jesus said that none are worthy of eternal life without him, that all have sinned and "the wages of sin is death, but those that believe in him should not perish but have everlasting life", and it we would simple, repent and have faith that he is our personal lord and savior, then anyone can be saved, you, me, Lindsey Lohan,Saddam Hussein, and yes, even Osama Bin Laden. Does being saved excuse you from crimes committed in society, certainly not, there are probably lots of people that are born again christians who are on death row or doing life in prison. the bible speaks often of obeying man's laws and we will be held accountable. Our life is like a blink of an eye in the timeline of the universe, what is your status for after you die? I don't know how anyone deployed to a war zone could not think of life, death, and what else is there after we die. Sadamm actually had his chance to make things right with the lord, he was captured and given a chance to repent to the lord before he was excecuted, but based on news reports, he was defiant and in denial until the bitter end. Bin Laden didn't have that chance, he should've held up his hands. His example goes to show to not wait to be right with the lord, you never know when your time is up. That's why I worry so much for my family and friends that they find the lord before it's too late. Like I said before in past entries, accepting the lord into your heart doesn't stop you from making mistakes, but it does change your life completely and see things in a whole new light. But I do understand that people were very happy to see him dead, he's caused a lot of pain and heartache. I just think, "Was there was ever a time in his life he could've taken a left instead of a right, became a christian instead of a Jihadi?", he could've been a powerfull crusader for god instead of an agent of evil. I guess that's what makes god so incredible, the power of free will, he doesn't really force us to do anything, he gives us a choice, and for good or bad, we have to live with them. I'll just keep praying for my family and friends that they will accept the lord in their lives, and pray that I will always fight to stay on the right path,and get right back on if I stray off.
Gotta go, laundry, Taco Bell (I know, a war zone and a taco bell, hey I don't make the rules!), read a little bit and sleep in!!!Day off!!!

5/1

Thank god for the month of May, it feels good to get to this point. I had to write up my first person today, it was a long time coming. This person knew we had a flight coming in and he chooses to use the bathroom, he gets out there and the ATOC rep is walking the pax off the plane. I didn't know this because I was helping out at the counter. But I had three people tell me what happenened, it's good to know someone besides myself cares, they are tired of us looking bad. that was the last draw, me and Shawna had told him the next time would be paperwork. It wasn't that bad, he knew it was coming and it definitely isn't the first time back at his home station. He's the type that feels like he knows something that everyone else does not, that he's the only sane one in the world, like he's got some superior grasp of reality, it's kindof funny. it's inmaturity, trying to grab attention, he's like 20 I wasn't upset at all, I just told him he's making me look bad and by doing paperwork upper management can say, "that's not on Owens." It hasn't even been a month, it could be a long deployment for him, the change needs to come from him, not us forcing him to. We'll see, also I took away his computer use at work for a week, that part I feel silly, like his dad or something.
There are a few female contractors on base who wear the tightest jeans here,it's not like I look, I try to honor my wife by not looking, I just notice all the guys whose eyeballs pop out of the back of their head, haha. Why would you want to bring so much attention on yourself? Especially when the man to woman ratio is 18:1 It's like they paint them on, wouldn't you want loose comfortable clothes? don't get it, you can see the rows of male eyes that totally gawk at them at the Dfac, it's funny to watch, I wish I could film it, but it's annoying because these women must know, i would personally hate the feeling that I'm being stared down by a bunch of people...
Can't remember if I mentioned what I call "officer alley, its the little passageway separating the DFAC with chained link fence. Put of this leads into the Dfac while the other part leads to the CHU's. It's annoying going through there at lunch because there are so many officers that walk through there. It's like you have to salute 20 times. there is a certain anxiety level with saluting. you have to look for the insignia on the hat, you don't want to miss a salute because you can get chewed out. Half these officers don't even care, and give you an apathetic look and a half-assed salute. i always try to say, "good afternoon sir/mam" but half the time they don't even respond and then you feel like an idiot. The worst part of this anxiety is the possibility of accidentally saluting a fellow enlisted. The is the worst loser-move anyone can do. I haven't done it here yet but I have in the past and you feel like a total fool, it's embarrassing and you will get razzed if acquantences see it. So this whole mental process going through your mind sounds something like this, "where's the insignia, hard to see, the sunlight, is that a crows nest or an eagle, a clove or a cluster, do i say anything? do i not, then ill appear rigid, i cant' tell, do i just not salute, but what if he is an officer?" This happens every time going through officer alley. We have way too many officers here, they get paid alot and work an easy 8 hr day every day. Some are just specialists at a specific job and aren't in charge of anyone, I have more responsibilty then most. It's not that i dislike them, I would've become one myself but i got my degree a year too late. I better run, it's 3:18.....